Worlds Away {Ghoul! Suzuya Juuzou x female reader}

Consequences

My voice shook as I answered the call. "H-hello Sasaki-san?"

"Hello, Y/N-chan."

"W-what's going on, Sasaki-san?"

"Well, this is hard for me to say...but...due to recent circumstances, I can't have you as part of my squad anymore. It's unrealistic for you to be involved in any sort of work in the field, since you seem to have some new-found love for ghouls now. Maybe you can find another job within the CCG, like, answering calls or something. I can try to help you with that...I'm sorry it had to come to this Y/N-chan, I really am. You were an important part of the squad."

I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. "N-no, you don't understand, I don't love ghouls! It's-it's complicated. Please, give me a chance to explain. The squad...you all are such an important part of my life...I never meant to hurt any of you. I'm sorry..."

"I wish that any explanation you could give would change things...but it won't. This isn't only my decision, I had to report the incident to Special Class Marude, I  had to explain why we weren't able to bring in those ghouls. When he found out the truth, he wanted to go to Chairman Washuu and see what protocol was in this type of circumstance, but I told him I would handle it, I didn't think getting the chairman involved would bode well for your chances of possibly getting another job in the CCG. I hope things work out for you, Y/N-chan."

I heard a click followed by an emptiness flowing through the line and I knew Sasaki had hung up.

I threw my phone onto the ground, heard the multiple clatters that meant it had come apart. My face was in my hands, my body wracked with sobs. A gentle hand lit on my shoulder, and the screech of wooden chair legs against tile echoed throughout the desolate apartment as Juuzou moved closer to me.

I wiped the tears from my eyes only for new ones to blossom in the corners and drip down my face. "What am I going to do, Juuzou? What am I going to do without a job? No, screw the job,  I've lost the people I considered family. That's what hurts the most. I can get a new job...Sasaki said he'd help me...the CCG can't really just abandon me since I had the surgery...but I'll be stuck sitting behind a desk if anything."

I looked up at Juuzou, seeing that he had moved slightly away from me, his body language withdrawn.

And then I realized what I'd said wordlessly. I'd implied that I regretted my decision that day, that I wished I hadn't stepped in to stop my squad from inflicting further damage on Juuzou and Amaya.

"W-wait, Juuzou. I didn't mean that to come out how it sounded. What I did...I wouldn't change it. I just wish things had ended up differently. I wish it didn't have to be like this."

Juuzou shrugged his small shoulders, still refusing to look at me.

I took one of his hands, but it was limp under my fingers. "Juuzou, look at me." He raised his eyes to gaze at me sullenly.

"Yes, I'm upset that I lost my job. Yes, I'm upset that I may never see the Q's and Sasaki again, and if I do, it won't be the same. They don't trust me anymore, and rightfully so. I put them in danger, twice. The first time because of my love for you, and my fear of you all at once, and the second time, because of my determination to protect you. I promised myself I would never betray my squad, but I did. However, would I change it? If I could go back in time would I stand by and let them hurt you? No, never. As much as I hate losing them, I can't bear the thought of losing you. At least I know they are relatively safe. They have each other. I... I love you, Juuzou. I will never regret anything that I did to protect you. Never."