||Warriors OC Ratings|| (OPEN)

Appledusk

This is Appledusk for Rainbow_Pony_Girl !

Name: Appledusk
I didn't realize this, so I thank our admin xX_Emberfang_Xx for helping me realize that the name Appledusk is cannon. I didn't know because I hadn't read about Mapleshade yet. But Appledusk is the name of the father of Mapleshade's kits.

Age: 38 moons
Suitable age. Young cat.

Gender: she-cat
Okeh

Clan: SkyClan
Okay! SkyClan! The clan that Firestar and Sandstorm went to rebuild and then never spoke about it again! Man... SkyClan really is the forgotten clan.

Rank: medicine cat
👍

Appearance: russet tabby with white underbelly, white left paw; golden eyes
OH. MY. GOD. U. TOTALLY. JUST. LOST. POINTS. FOR. THAT. YOU GAVE HER ONE WHITE PAW. OHMIGOSH U SUCH A SCOURGE COPIER. *sigh* why does everyone do the one white paw thingy now! I love scourge but, why did he have to do that! WAI HUNTERS?! I like the rest of her tho.

Personality: quiet, kind, sometimes snappish and sarcastic when bothered, anger issues after her mentor died
Then how she kind doe? She got anger issues and stuff yet she's kind? Umm...

Family:
Mother: Redstripe
Father: Owlfeather
Brother: Oakstep
Sister: Sweetbriar
Okay. But there's in Owlfeather in the books if I'm correct. And I like the name Sweetbriar!

M/C/K:
Crush: Andy (kittypet)
Mate: forbidden
Kits: none
K. Forbidden, duh dur! Haha you better not have kits. And I like that she has a crush.

Backstory: Appledusk was born in SkyClan. At the age of 6 moons, she was apprentices to Hollowclaw, the SkyClan medicine cat. A few moons later, the clan was attacked by a group called Scar Tribe, a group of hostile rogues. In the attack, her father, Redstripe was killed. She tried to run away, but her sister convinced her to stay. A few more moons later, she got her medicine cat name, Appledusk. She was out collecting herbs, and she met a kittypet named Andy, who had strayed to far into the forest. She fell in love with him, but when she told him that, she could never take him as her mate. He fell in love with her sister instead. Andy eventually joined the clan to be with Sweetbriar. About half a moon later, she attacked her sister because she thought that her sister and Andy (now Shortcloud) had betrayed her. She felt awful after that, and eventually they forgave her. A bout of greencough struck the camp and her mentor, Hollowclaw, was killed by it. She took an apprentice named Robinpaw. Appledusk was coming back to camp from collecting herbs, and she was attacked by rats. She later died from wounds, but she was able to give Robinpaw the name Robinchest.
This is alarmingly familiar to a backstory for someone else's OC in Bloodclan_Forever (go follow her) OC rating. This is strikingly similar to Brackenstep, her latest ratings, backstory. A SkyClan cat who's a medicine cat. It was the same with him. A bout of greencough killed your mentor. Same with him. You even worded it the same. And then the way you BOTH died was by being attacked by rats. And I'm wondering if you've read his or something because there is a Robinchest in his backstory as well. And you both apparently were able to name your apprentices before going to StarClan. That's technically not possible. If you were attacked by rats, you would be horribly injured. First of all, u weren't even at the moonstone/pool! Second of all, you wouldn't even have the strength or survive long enough to go through the medicine cat naming ceremony!

Other: her apprentice is Robinpaw/chest
That's not really an Other. I already knew from your Backstory.

Overall, I give Appledusk a 2.5/10. She needs improving. First of all, that one white paw is at oral cliche and it's too popular. It used to be unique but now it's an OC appearance stereotype. And she's kind yet has anger issues and stuff? And I'll let he Owlfeather thing slider because the books character is Owl Feather instead of a prefix and suffix together, but at least change it to Owlwing or something. And that backstory. I suggest you revise that. Change it actually. A lot of it. It's like a complete copy of Brackenstep, atleast almost a complete copy. It's like Brackenstep's backstory gender swapped. And then her name is cannon. Besides that, everything else was okay.