First Comes Like #Wattys2020

16

SIXTEEN

Blonde or brunette?

Blonde or brunette?

What, Valerie? You think I actually liked you?

These words echo in my head for the rest of Friday and leaves me with an awful headache and an unbearable heartache. I can't believe that I was fooled. It's his dimples, I know, that had me deceived. And his warm brown eyes. And his stunning smile.

Sorry I'm... nervous, I guess.

UGH.

My heart aches every time I think back to that stupid date at the carnival. And that stupid ferris wheel. And that stupid bear.

I look at it in the corner of my room, it's beady eyes staring into my soul. I feel like going psycho on it with Nina's safety scissors, but then I change my mind, because it's honestly not the bear's fault. It's just an innocent thing: synthetic white fur stuffed with fluffy cotton.

Verdict: not guilty.

I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking of songs that would be appropriate right now, if this was a movie and I was the main character. the camera would zoom in on my face, my eyes closed, lashes wet with old tears. My wild hair fanned out over my pillow. Me, bra less in a comfy sweater, yet completely uncomfortable.

How a Heart Breaks! starring heart broken Valerie Blythe and her thoughts.Sountrack: Take a Bow -RihannaAnd the award for the best liar, goes to you...

I get angry at first. But then I start to wonder why Cole never liked me in the first place, was I unlikable? What did I do wrong? But I shake these thought out of my head, fast. It wasn't my fault that I got played. Again, verdict: not guilty. Cole on the other hand: Crucify him!

Macey is so pissed when she hears what happens that she shakes, almost like it happened to her. I don't know how many words she calls Cole over the phone and how many times she threatens his life (until his mom picks up and says she'll call the police) but I sure do feel better going back to school the next week.

Sunday marks the official end of January and it hits me (belatedly, I know) that February is only a few days away. It definitely rolled in faster than I expected.

I like thinking that the year is like leaves blowing in the wind as each day goes by and then all the leaves will blow away and the year will be over. But it's not such a nice thought when I realize the full consequences of it being February already. It means that we're less than two weeks away from the dance, one week away from Valentine's week and just a few days away from complete stress.

My last few stress-free thoughts are shattered like glass as I'm making my way to my locker. It's Monday morning, February 2nd. Dean is a few steps behind me with that girl Gina and some of his loud and crazy friends. It happens just as I'm three lockers way from my own when I hear my name, followed by Dean's being shouted down the hallway.

It's the shrill voice of a woman and that's when my happy thoughts of leaves blowing in the wind, burst into hot flames. I turn, not even bothering to get my History book from my locker because it's Ms Fitz and I'm not going to class.

There are things like Valentine's Day that are more important than my education.

I sigh and follow her back to her office, Dean only a few steps behind me. I'm dressed in my best I had a shitty weekend but here I am, ready to face the world! outfit. It consists of ripped jeans and a graphic tee that says: YUCK FOU. It's just for that dimpled boy called Cole.