I opened my eyes and rolled on my side, in a rather happy mood. The numbers on my clock read 6:30, I would never dream of waking up this early while on the road. I sat up and quickly made my bed, pretty sure I'm the only one up. Being the only early riser in the house gives me time to myself, time that I normally wouldn't have in my busy day. I pulled on my fuzzy slippers and made my way to the kitchen before making myself a cup of coffee, I breathed in the smell of the warm liquid before letting it roll down my throat. I sat at the kitchen table and admired the pictures on the wall, most of them evoking a nostalgic feeling in me. My eyes fell on the person walking into the room
"Hm. Good morning Luna" my mother gave me a warm smile
"Morning, mom" she sent me a glance as she made herself coffee
"Luna, we really didn't get enough time to talk about it yesterday" Lowering the coffee cup, I peered over at her. She settled across from me, an expecting look on her face "Well..So when and how did you and Joe end up getting back together?" I nearly choked on my coffee, then it hit me. I'd totally forgotten about the whole fake relationship thing, I gave her a nervous smile
"Ma, we aren't really together" her face fell
"What? Why not" I shrugged, my attention now completely on the mug in my hands
"I don't know-we just aren't. He wanted me to be 'pretend girlfriend' for this weekend" she gave me a knowing look
"You don't want to be pretend girlfriend, you want to be his actual girlfriend" my gaze slowly lifted to meet hers
"No, that's not it. I just don't like lying to his mom" the look on my mothers face showed that she saw right through me
"Luna. You can't lie to your own mother" I let out a breath through my nose
"Guess I can't"
"Now, tell me how you actually feel about him" I was quiet, how do I feel about Joe?
"I'm still attracted to him. More now than ever, there's just something about him. I don't want to like him, but I do." I took another sip of my coffee "I don't want to get hurt anymore, the few relationship I've been in have had a sloppy ending.I'm scared. Of the unknown, you know. Not knowing how that person will react to certain things, or what they'll do to me. So.." I stopped and looked at her
"Luna, there is nothing to be afraid of. Not everyone you meet will be bad, alright?"
"I know that" I let out a sigh and sat down the mug
"So then why do you cling to Joe like that?" A question I've never bothered to ask myself, all these years. No matter what Joe has done I've stood by him, even if I didn't show it. On the inside, he is always the one that I'll side with. The only boy I've ever considered being around, even if I couldn't even bother to look him in the eye. It doesn't make any sense, I know. But you'll never really understand until you've walked in my shoes
"It's a sense of familiarity" I said after a while
"What?" She searched my face before I continued
"The reason I cling to Joe so hard is because he's familiar, I know how he is. I've been around him almost my entire life, I can read him like a book" my mother chuckled at me and stood up and grabbed our mugs "What? What's so funny?" I followed her as she took out the food to begin breakfast, she handed me the eggs before looking back at me
"You wanting to be around Joe has nothing to do with familiarity, hun. You love that boy" in that moment, I'm not sure if it wasn't true, or if I just didn't want it to be. She started cooking and I left her, remembering how she liked to be alone while cooking. Which I never understood, But Me? Loving Joe? That can't happen. Right?
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I laid down on the couch beside Liam with my feet in his lap,we were watching SpongeBob, much to Liam's displeasure. I looked up at Liam who had a bored look on his face
