Hidden. (by seasidestyles-original copy)

forty six

"Rose," Jason answers on the other end of the line. "How nice of you to call."

"C-can you meet me?" I rush out, my heart beating wildly.

"Meet you?" He pauses. "Where?"

"Uh..." I look around me. "There's a coffee shop on the corner of eighth and seventy fourth."

"Alright."

I hang up and walk to the corner, taking a seat at a table outside the coffee shop. I can't believe I'm doing this. Jason is a major reason--if not the sole reason--I left New York in the first place. And yet, here I am, waiting for him to meet me at a damn coffee shop at the end of my block.

My thoughts wander to Harry. Believe it or not, I actually anticipate seeing him when I get home. He's proved to actually be a decent friend, and I think I was in need of one. But there's always that little nagging part of me that wants to know more about him. He has so many secrets, I know it. Every time I learn something new about him, I still seem to be faced with a thousand other things that leave me in the dark. He's like the moon, Harry is--part of him is always hidden.

Suddenly, my phone buzzes in my lap. I pick up hurriedly.

"Hello?"

"Hey, your mail got put in my box again. What did I tell you about letting that happen?"

Harry's playful tone calms my nerves slightly and I laugh. "I'm sorry," I say. "Just put it outside my door and I'll pick it up when I get home."

"Very well." There's some rustling on the other end.

"Harry?" I blurt.

"Hmm?"

"Do you...do you believe in me?"

"What do you mean?"

I swallow. "I'm about to do something...something big. Do you believe I can do it?"

Harry is silent for a few moments. "Of course you can do it."

His words send a rush of joy through me, starting at my heart and spreading through my entire body. The fact that he didn't ask me what it was I was doing--he didn't badger or question me at all--makes a strong feeling of fondness toward him bubble inside me.

"That's exactly what I needed to hear," I breath. I laugh shakily, my heart still pounding. "Thank you, Harry."

"Anytime, Rosie." I hear his smile in his voice.

"I have to go, again, I'm sorry about the mail." I smile.

"You'd better be sorry. You have a shit load of magazine subscriptions, and I haven't even heard of half of them."

"Bye, Harry."

"Bye, Rose."

I hang up and sigh, my nerves slightly calmed by the sound of Harry's voice. I look down at my lap.

"Rose Knight."

I snap up and internally cringe when I meet Jason's gaze. He smirks down at me, his tall frame towering above me. My prior nerves return in a smashing tidal wave.

"Sit," I say simply, and he complies, taking a seat across from me at the small table.

"So," he says, leaning back, his eyes gleaming sinisterly. "What can I do for you?"

His words make me flinch but I compose myself. I take a breath. "I need you to tell Elizabeth the truth."

He raises an eyebrow. "The truth about what?"

"You know what." I narrow my eyes.

He reclines in his seat, a smirk on his face. "And why would I do that?"

"Because it's been a fucking year, Jason," I say. "How much longer are you going to keep this up? It's practically destroying my family."

"What's in it for me?"

"Why does there have to be something in it for you?"

"Rose, I think you're forgetting just what happened that night."

"I'm not forgetting a fucking thing, Jason. Just give it up, alright? Please." My voice cracks at the end slightly.

Jason's jaw clenches. "I don't know, Rosie," he says and I feel like passing out.

I suddenly feel a rush of anger. This boy has been the cause of so much conflict, so much pain, and I've had it. Harry's words swim into my mind.

Of course you can do it.

"You know what, Jason?" I sit up straighter in my seat. "You're pathetic. You're carrying around these lies with you everywhere you go, and you don't give a shit on the effect it's having on me even after a year. You never loved Elizabeth, how could you? You wouldn't have done what you did if you really loved her," I spit, my eyes flashing.

Jason looks taken aback by my outburst, and I'm glad. I'm glad I shocked him, I'm glad he's surprised that silent, submissive Rose is finally telling him what he needs to hear.

"Just tell her the truth," I say. "Be a fucking man for once and tell Elizabeth the goddamn truth."

I stand from my seat, pulling my coat tighter around me. The wind blows harshly through the streets, nipping at my cheeks and nose.

"I leave tomorrow," I tell him. "I'd prefer if you tell her by then."

I turn on my heel and walk back down the street, feeling a bit of weight lifting off my shoulders. This agonizing year of feeling shit because of that boy has seemed to blow away with the wind. That night will forever been burned into my memory, but telling Jason off has made it just a little less painful.

I hang up my coat on the rack when I step back inside my patent's place. My mother steps out of the kitchen to see who is at the door, and her eyes soften in relief.

"Rose, thank God," she says, walking toward me and pulling me into a hug. "I had no idea where you went, I--"

"Mom, I'm twenty three," I laugh into her hair.

"I know, I know," she says, pulling away to look at me. "But you'll always be my little girl."

I suddenly feel like crying at my mother's statement. I had never once considered that it would be hard for her for me to move across the country to Portland--I had been too focused on getting the hell out of here. She must have been heartbroken when I was so eager to leave her.

"I love you, Mom," I say. "And I'm sorry for acting like such a child about you and Dad."

She nods. "I'm sorry for keeping it from you," she says. "That wasn't right."

I feel like a different person--Regular Rose would never have called Jason, or apologized openly to my mother. Regular Rose would have shut herself in her room and wasted time editing manuscripts for work. Regular Rose would still be dating Aaron and hating Harry.

I'm beginning to hate Regular Rose.

A burst of courage erupts in me and I walk away from my mother, stopping at Elizabeth's door.

"What are you doing?" My mother asks.

"Curing bad blood," I answer as I tap my knuckles against Elizabeth's bedroom door.