Cuts and Romance

Chapter 11: The Choice

I looked at Nathan with an expression of neither horror or disgust. Just plain curiousity "what happened next?" I asked.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes and continued "Well the police and the ambulance came. The police arrested the half concious robbers and the ambulance took us all to the hospital where we are all top priority because of our status. The nurses dragged  me and my father to the ICU where they sewed us up. It took longer for me since my cuts were deeper. It was a miracle i even survived and actually did those things reagrdless of blood loss. My mother and sister were fine so they sent them home but accompanied with a theraphist. My father and i stayed in the ICU for a week until we were able to walk or do simple things without bleeding to death. As soon as the stitches are off my whole family and me were whisked by the police to the courtroom. And there i saw clearly the damage I inflicted on the two men. Their faces covered in bloody bandages and they limped when they walked. I saw in their eyes they were broken, they were worse than dead. They were living but... Somehow not alive The proceedings were long and boring. Soon enough they were pronounced guilty and i was well.., assigned a theraphist to help me on this so called traumatic event. So ill skip to the theraphist part but ill add that the two died from their injuries and possibly because they lost the will to live after what i did to them. So ill skip a few days. To my first theraphy session. Well she did the same thing i did to you the first day. I guess she saw that i didnt need help after a few weeks because i really did know what i did and how i liked it. I aske her to teach me her line of work so i could live with myself. Live with what i did. so she just taught me how to be like her. She taught me because i also told her that i hated the idea of someone helping my mother when that person barely knew what she was going through. She taught me everything she knew and then she said when i hit 16 she would send a recommendation for me to get well special license. So you may be wandering why i dont have any scars on my face well my father fixed it with his cash and he and i got world class and top notch surgeons and they fixed our faces. My father got his whole body, except for the first cut on cheek treated, but i chose just my face and my arms and my legs. My chest and back were still battered and scarred So I'll be reminded of what i did. The scars in my arms werent because of the robbers it was because of me. After a few months i started to have nightmares. Like a post traumatic stress or something. I saw their dead faces looking at me in the dark just looking at me as their faces rotted in my dreams. And every night i woke up screaming into my pillow. So i scarred myself. Using the same knife i used to break them. I cut myself the exact number if times i cut them one arm for one person. I remembered the anount of cuys because the memory was permanently branded into my brain. I could still see it up to now everytime i close my eyes. I remember their screams and the blood. My parents never knew what i did because i used longsleeves and well my parents really dont care much since they were buy. As for my mother well i handled her theraphy when her real theraphist wasnt there. I guessed i liked helping people. to atone for my previous  sins. People tell me im a hero but i knew what i was, i was a monster. A devil. A devil trying hard to be an angel once more.  So thats my story" As nathan finished.

We just sat in silence then suddenly he asks "Well what are you going to do know?".

I just looked at the river with a brooding look. I knew my choice. He was my friend and my confidant and i was his. In the short time we met we became closer.

After a few seconds of silence i looked at him in the eye and said "You're my friend Nathan nothing you say or did in your past will change that. I know this may sound cliché but i trust you and if im honest with myself i dont want to lose you and you make me feel safe and i just want you to be here with me always."

As i said this rain started to fall and Nathan slipped off his longsleeves to cover me. His chest was scarred badly but he was in good shape. Not really muscled but fit. He covered me with his longsleeves as we left our little paradise. As we got into the car he turned the heater up and grabbed a spare shirt from a compartment.

And he looked at me and said "I guess we're both broken." I smiled and held his hand and said "Yes we are. But maybe we're both like this so we can pick up the peices and put each other back together." He gently pulled my head to his lips and kissed me on the forehead. And i thought this was the start of something wonderful. Crazy but wonderful.