The Kitten Has Claws

The Kitten Has Claws [Chapter 20]

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Chapter 20

Ryder finally found Ingrid in the movie room with the other women. "Can I talk to you, alone?" he asked.

She scrunched her brow in confusion, but nodded. He seemed really agitated about something, but maybe he was just nervous. Whatever it was, Ingrid was starting to get worried. What if he confessed his undying love for her or something else atrocious? She wasn't ready to hear that from either man and in a way she had promised Paxton to wait for him. Another horrible thought hit her, what if something had gone wrong when the men visited the Elders?

Ryder led her down the hallway to the music room again. He closed the door behind her and started to pace nervously. "Is everything okay, Ryder?" she asked worriedly. "Did you hear something about the men? Is everyone okay?"

He stopped pacing and quickly reassured her, "Everything is fine with them, at least, as far as I know. I brought you here because...I don't think I can do this anymore. I..." he gave a frustrated growl and looked away from her.

"Do what?"

"I don't want to lie to you, but I feel so confused. I still like you, a lot, but when I saw Clover, I just...I don't know how to explain it." He laughed bitterly and gave her a tortured look, "I feel like such a man whore. Confessing my feelings for you one day and then changing them another day after I meet another woman."

"Ryder," Ingrid started to say, but he cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"No, I'm not finished. I want you to know that if you have feelings for me, I am still here for you, and I'm willing to try and make things work between us. I'm not breaking it off with you at all. I only thought it was fair to let you know how I feel."

He started to pace again, but then changed his mind and headed over to the piano. His fingers flew over the keys in a melody of sweet pain and confusion. Ingrid realized that he wouldn't listen to anything she said until he finished playing. He needed to calm down. Then she could tell him her thoughts on the matter.

The door to the room opened a minute later and Clover stuck her head in curiously. "Oh!" she gasped, seeing Ryder and Ingrid in the room. Ryder immediately stopped playing and stared at her. She blushed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I just heard the music and...I'll just be going now. Sorry!" The door shut with a click leaving the room eerily quiet.

"Ryder," Ingrid said firmly, "listen to me before you say anything." He shut his mouth and stared at her. "I am not going to hold you to your previous promise. You don't have to keep pursuing me if you have stronger feelings for Clover. I would never make you do something you didn't want to."

"But—" he started.

"Nope. I don't want to you to feel guilty about anything. I'm okay with you liking Clover. Besides, this makes my decision that much easier."

"But you're stuck with Paxton," he muttered.

"First of all," she corrected, "I am not 'stuck' with anyone. I still have the choice to be with Paxton or not. He can't make me do anything. I just want you to know that I don't hate you for this decision, nor am I going to protest. I won't lie and say that I'm not sad. I am, I really like you, but I also like Paxton and I like you enough to let you go."

Ryder stared at her in shock. He hadn't imagined how she would react, but he would never have guessed such compliance and selflessness. Ingrid continued to amaze him. But a part of him was relieved that she was so okay with it. When Clover had entered the room for those few seconds he realized that he felt so much more for her than he did Ingrid. He owed an apology to Paxton and to Ingrid. Maybe with Clover, he wouldn't screw things up so badly. He knew that courting her would be tough; especially with the way she talked about her father.