The Broken Girl (Jack Johnson)ON HOLD

7- I Kissed The Scars On Her Skin, I Still Think You're Beautiful

(Match Into Water By PTV)

-Lola-

I came to a decision and decided to allow him in.

I guess I can't keep shutting people out of my life. He should know what he's getting himself into.

I twist the lock hearing the click noise meaning it unlocked and the door opens. Jack enters and stares at me with concern in his big blue eyes. We stare at each other for a few seconds.

"L-Lola!" He says relieved and pulls me into a hug. I was taken back by this surprising hug. His arms were wrapped around my waist and his head rested on my chest as he holds me there. I awkwardly placed my around his neck and placed my head on his.

I inhaled his cologne and hair gel. We stayed like this for a while but it ends when he grips the side of my thighs, making me squeal at the touch.

He holds me and places me on the counter. He pulls strains of hair behind my ear and kiss my forehead. With that touch I get butterflies and a shiver at the touch. He wipes my away my tears and wiped some of my makeup away so it doesn't look so runny.

He examines my wrist and pulls my now bloody sleeve up and pulls it to his face. To my surprise, he kisses each and everyone of them. It made me feel ashamed that he had to do this. He was kissing my wrist and getting a little bit of blood on himself.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked bluntly.

"I still think you're beautiful and I don't want to lose my best friend." He simply answers. I raised my eyes at him and my eyebrows scrunched together.

"Scars aren't beautiful..." I murmur.

"You're right...but I still find YOU beautiful and I don't care what you say...So why must you do this?" He gestured to my cut up wrist.

"I don't know...I'm weak, okay. I'm stressed, depressed, and a utter complete mess." I replied.

"No you're not. I can easily fix you. You'll be happy and I don't care if it takes years. I'm-l'm not letting you go." His words sound so sweet and kind. I didn't say anything.

He takes some toilet paper and poured some water on it.

"What's depression like?" He asked so calmly. My eyes widen and I looked down at him, he was really curious?

"It's hard to explain." I mumbled.

"Is it like when you get really sad for a while?" He asked.

I let out a loud but quick and dry chuckle at that. If only he knew what I go through with my own mind.
That I fight with my mind every day!

He jumped a little when I chuckled.

"If only you saw what goes on inside this mind...it's a battle every day and it's hard because it's my own mind that I have to fight...most of the time I lose and I end up doing the weakest shit ever."

"Crying?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders. He pressed the cold wadded toilet paper against my wrist and I shivered.

"I go into these hard deep thoughts and it's like being stuck in a hole with my worst fears. I try to fight back but I just never found a real purpose to fight back or what I'm even fighting for. I just get so tired and I allow them to run my life." I looked away from his gaze and stare out the window.

"Them?" He questioned.

"My depression. My anxiety. My demons. My own mind. My mind is sick, Jack. Yes I cry. Yes I'm weak. Yes I get angry. Yes I give in and lose to them." I say as I finally look down at him. He had cleaned my wounds and stared at me with wonder.

"You don't ever feel like...killing yourself, right?" He asked scared, yet he hid it as much as he could with a straight face.

"N-no...at least not all the time. I've come so close when I was really young and after that my mom made me take my medication...I hated it."
"Why?" He stood up and staring at me still.

"You think it sounds normal to take 'Blue Happy Pills' to balance the chemicals in your fucking brain?" I snapped. He frowned and held my hands in his big warm ones.
I eased up and regret filled my body.
"I'm sorry." I apologize.

He shook his head and grips the sided of my face so I'm looking at his eyes again.
"It's fine. I'm listening and I'm learning so much about you. But we better get going. My friend will come and pick us up soon." Right on cue his phone went off and he pulls it out his back pocket.

"Hello?" He answers.

"Hey dude! Hurry where are you? You're mom said you're not home! Did you walk to school?" The voice sounded mad yet worried.

"No, I was at a friend's house. We're coming out right now. Stay there."

"We're?" I last heard and Jack hung up.

"Come on. Let's go to school." He says. I nod my head but before I left my room I put on another shirt and a FOB sweater.

We had left my room, holding hands and we talked.