Ecstasy of the Universe

The Divine Love

OM was dying out of curiosity. Three weeks had passed since that day he had met the man in the temple. His mind was filled with questions. He never would have thought that he had such a blessed life. His stomach pained and he felt nauseated with nervousness.

That evening too they were supposed to visit the temple. OM felt fortunate that once again he could listen to the old man and receive answers to all his questions. He had no expectations of how he would answer or in what way his life would change. OM's mother always said to him, "Expectations are not good for health. They create a possible future in your mind. When you hope for something, you are prepared for an ugly twist. And hence it does not annoy you. But when you start expecting some things, you forget to prepare yourself for an ugly twist. Eventually you get disappointed." He had till date remembered his mother's words and applied it anytime he could.

The whole day was cold and normal. Usually, OM was elated when hot afternoons turned into pleasant evenings. This time, the whole day was same and OM was already annoyed with it. He lay on his bed having nothing to do as he heard voices from the hall. Tip-toeing, he reached the hall room where he saw two people. The man seemed hefty. He had greyed hair and beard and had his belly popping out. The designs of his t-shirt were quite classical in taste. The woman beside him seemed far younger to her. She was tall and slim and wore a pink color salwar-kameez. They bought big plastic packets with them and OM's mother walked in the kitchen. OM followed her and asked, "Who are they, maa?"
"They are some of my friends. Remember me telling you about my friends who lived in the U.S? They came here a few days before." she said with a respectful tone. OM wondered why most Indians always preferred living in another country.
"So we are not going to the temple?" OM's tone was rather like concluding than asking.
"If you want to go, you can go. But return soon, ok?" and OM was hit with happiness. He was elated and ran out of the house for the temple.

The temple was only a street far, and thus it didn't take much time. OM walked looking below at the road made of cement. He could clearly see those dog footprints on the cement which had now dried up. Vehicles were unevenly parked across the road and he had to take so many turns. For this moment, OM thought nothing. Most of the times, when he was outside walking, he never thought of anything. His mind was blank and peaceful. Breeze would come from either directions and spoil his hair but he wouldn't notice. He would always get irritated with so many thoughts but this peaceful moment, he would not notice. His mind was quiet. He was in tranquility.

He reached the temple within a few minutes. As he stopped, he prayed for the old man to stay inside. Walking in the sounds of bhajans from the mike went in his ears. The scene was beautiful, he thought. The plants grown there had red and white flowers on. Near the small temple of Goddess Durga, he could point out few of the bright red roses and cats hiding under the bushes. The sky was turning dark and he could see people clapping hands on the air or looking at their heads in astonishment with mosquitoes flying above them. OM chuckled and went in.

The strange fragrance of incense sticks had had him over. He took a deep breath enjoying the fragrance as he closed his eyes and turned his head upwards. The seat, he noticed, was empty. Of course, he would come after a little time. OM tried convincing himself somehow but he turned even more restless from inside. He entered every small temple and prayed for answers. He would enter, ring the bell, then pray for a little longer time as he proceeded and come out. After half an hour, he returned to the main temple. His wish had finally got fulfilled and he slowly marched towards the man.

As he sat near his legs, the man almost jumped with excitement. "Arre beta OM! I am seeing you after a long time" he exclaimed. OM smiled and asked about rest of the men who came the previous time. "They still did not come" said he, "Their time is after half an hour. I too come late but somehow I am early today. Probably for you, little boy" he said as he tickled OM's nose with his fore-finger. Both of them exchanged smiles and looked elsewhere while OM was only dying for initiation of conversation. He thought of the time and slowly asked, "Pandit ji, the last time I came, remember what you said. About people worshipping Lord through different means?"
"Yes" he smiled, "I clearly remembered. But why? Why are you asking?"
"I kept thinking about it all the time. It is interesting of all the means, I think. And I wanted to know more about it. Can you please help me?" There was sincerity of learning in OM's eyes which sparkled clearly to the old man's notice. He now thought that it was correct to come early. "Hei Prabhu" he said within himself, "It is so nice to see young boys knowing about these rather indulging themselves in unnecessary discussions."
"Yes, dear" he said with a smile, "I shall say it to you. God or Krishna, as you take for an example, can be worshipped in many forms. Most of them choose to worship as a servant, to stay near the feet of the lord whole life and perform as many services as possible. Some choose to worship him as a friend, who would stand with them all life and teach them what all necessary."

OM's heart waited impatiently for what he wanted to hear. And when he knew that the man had completed the three, he sweated and again felt nauseated. "And some, which is your topic of interest, as a lover." OM tried to act as normal as he could but from inside two volcanoes of panic had already bursted. Taking a deep breath, he consoled himself and asked, "So how does this lover behave? How do their lives take them?"
"Being a lover of the lord is one of the most beautiful things, I assume. Most of the times it is homosexual men who fall in love with Lord Krishna or Lord Shiva and go on their path. They are all wise souls and mostly living their last lives." he said constantly studying OM's expressions; as if the child was satisfied with what all he heard.

"I see... But pandit ji, I have another question" he smiled hesitatingly thinking that he was annoying him with questions. But the old man seemed normal, which gave him confidence and he asked, "We know that Krishna loved Radha. But they never married..."
"Krishna and Radha are qualities, dear" said he, "Krishna is Narayan and Radha is Durga. Krishna is the sum of the whole masculine qualities and Durga is the sum of the whole feminine qualities of the universe. Krishna and Radha loved each other but did not marry. The story was created only to explain the concept of shakti and shaktiman."
"So how do devotees worship or love Lord Krishna? As Laxmi-Narayan pair or Krishna-Radha pair?"

The old man was stunned listening to the question. Not in his wildest dreams he would have imagined a young boy in his teens asking such question about qualities of the universe and last lives of great soul. He had started thinking about OM. Was he too living his last life? Or was he just a transcendental soul? Quite impressed he continued, "It is on them. If you see, Radha was not married to Krishna and loved him her whole life. But Laxmi and Narayan loved each other and married. Thus, most of the homosexuals love the Lord as the Laxmi-Narayan pair. But again some prefer Krishna-Radha pair."

The sky turned black and it was time to leave. OM thanked the old man and walked outside. He was stunned as he now knew what had happened to him. He wondered if he too lived his last life. Krishna-Radha pair seems suitable. After all, Durga and Narayan make the whole universe. The divine love!! OM returned home and guests had just left. He was amazed. Not talking to anyone he directly went to his room, deep in his thoughts....

****

O! Krishna, O! Kanha, O! Keshava,

Just for once become Radha,

And look how I am battling with myself,

Crying in separation with you...