Ecstasy of the Universe

Love and Separation

His head lay on the pillow with his eyes looking straight to the plain white walls of the golden light painted room. It was dark outside and everyone were sound asleep. Except for OM who spent a hard time to live a sleepless night. The light was still switched ON and OM had no idea of what the time was. Programs that aired in the television was not catching OM's interest. He was thinking of what he had seen. The same man whom I saw in my dreams! Lord Rama! Is this how you behave with your devotees? thought he.

He was not sure of his feelings. Once he felt to scream hard and loud to express the excitement and happiness confined in his heart. Another moment, he felt to cry that he could not tell it to anyone, for he feared no one would understand. With so much of confusion running in his mind, he got up and stood near the study table. He sat there resting on his elbows on the table. His eyes were turning drowsy and dark-circles had almost covered the surface. I must sleep he thought. No! I must find a solution for this problem! What will happen? I am seriously confused thought he the other moment. For instance, his head fell on the table and OM lay there unconscious.

The morning arrived. It was quite early and OM was now used to sleeping late at nights and getting up early. He woke up with his eyes still wanting for sleep. He had had no dream that night. His heart broke. He was expecting to see one of the incarnations of Lord Narayana. Not only for that, but also for the questions of last night once again popped in his mind. Balancing his body with much effort, he stood near the mirror. His hair was disarranged and frizzy. He noticed that his eyes had sunk in the pool of dark-circles. OM panicked. He left all of his jobs and threw himself on the bed with his hands pressing his forehead. What is happening? Hein Giridhar, please help your devotee he said within himself.

***

Here, Prabhu too was unwell. He rested his back on the wall with the lower portion of his body stuck to the mat. The room was big enough for two people to live. A small earthen pot was placed at one corner. A big table was placed near the window, neatly covered with a red cloth. He gazed at the murthi of Radhe-Krishna as he sniffed in a huge amount of dust. "Friend" entered the tall man, "How are you feeling now"
"Not too well, I can say" said he in a tiring voice, coughing loudly and seeing what he had breathed. Listening to the voice, his friend at once understood and ordered him to take rest. He walked towards the door and gently closed it.
"I wonder how a healthy man caught fever at one night" said he remarkably. Prabhu at once understood his intention.
"Yes" said he, "It is possible." there was silence all around and after a moment of hesitation, he said, "For Prabhu has seen the boy whom he is supposed to take care of"

The words hit his friend who was standing near the idols. He felt as if he lost balance and out of shock he screamed, "Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna!"
"That is true" said Prabhu with a little bit of excitement and a little bit of sickness, "Last night I was sleepless. I don't really know what that boy might be feeling, for I saw something in his prayers." as he spoke, his friend dragged a stool and sat near him, to listen each and every word what he spoke. Prabhu went on, "The boy whom Lord Sri Ramachandra himself handed me! He finally has come! I feel fortunate. I am in ecstasy, my friend. But again, I am tensed how to speak to him. He definitely knows me but I am not sure how to get him here. He has to live here and learn so much. After all he is destined to be a great paramahamsa. How would I ever talk to his parents? How would I ever say something which is hard to believe?"

His friend who sat there was all ears. He had nothing to speak. He himself was confused to give any advices. What Prabhu had seen in his dream was fine but the problems Prabhu was facing was definitely hard to solve. Now he understood how with much of tension, the old man caught fever overnight. "Lord Rama himself came to you, my friend" said he, "He is the incarnation of the Supreme, Lord Vishnu. Whatever he says is the truth. You know that! I do not think you must worry, for what will happen is all designed by him" he points up.
"Yes" retorted Prabhu, "But he is a small boy. He cannot come up to me and speak. And anyways, it must always be me to get him. He won't ever come to me. And if I do not do, it will be a shame for me myself. So I better meet his parents"
"When they visit the temple once again, maybe that is when you can talk to his parents". Both the men continued gazing at the ground, annoyed and baffled.

***

OM felt not to go to the temple. But he also didn't want to refuse. He was tensed and had no clarity of the near future. The only one whom he could now depend was the Lord himself. He secretly chanted the Maha Mantra in his heart which gave him temporary relief.

His heart warmed. For a while he forgot all of the problems. He closed his eyes looking at the blue eyes of the dark lord, sitting in a chariot decorated with gold and gems. He grinned. The car stopped all of a sudden and OM fell to his mother's seat. "Come" she addressed to everyone, "Temple has come".

OM seemed a lot disturbed. He would not listen to what his mother said and go on his own way. In the temple near the steps, OM's mother directed him one way and OM walked the other way. OM's mother panicked. She wondered why OM had suddenly changed. Till yesterday, he was a young jolly boy. Now he's turned into a disturbed person. "What happened OM?" asked she politely bringing OM back to consciousness, "Where are you?" He did not reply, instead walked front ignoring the questions, intending to hide his tears.She shrugged.

The temple had less number of people at this day than it was the previous day. OM's father and sister had formed their own group and walked away to some other corner of the big temple. OM was left here with his mother. He sat near the pole, looking at his deity, the same way he was doing the previous day. OM's mother worried about him. She was upset to see her child in such a state. She asked OM to wait there while she would collect the prasad and return. He nodded.

Prabhu knew that OM had come. In that condition of high fever, he stood near the steps of the temple. The sun was hot and he sweated. Sometimes, he also felt dizzy. But such was his determination that he would not complain. He briefly studied OM's expressions. He was still sitting near the pole, now his head turned towards the sky. His face was dull and the charm was hidden. "Why is he seeming so sad?" asked Prabhu to himself. OM's mother. She sat beside him with absolute silence. She stared at OM. "He is seeming better" said she to herself. His father and sister had soon returned. They seemed highly energetic and OM was perturbed. Is it the right time? Asked Prabhu to himself. It must be. I definitely shall go.

***

The evening was sober. Everyone returned to their rooms. OM found himself standing between a rather big group. People were tensed and seemed confused. His parents and his sister stood there, in front of an old man with a rather long beard. Prabhu tried calming self, but somehow he couldn't. Studying his expressions in brief, OM understood what he was going through. But OM's conditions were worse. Prabhu came a while ago, having people's faces stunned and the poor little boy panicked. "Your child OM" said Prabhu, "Give him to us". Since then they have been standing here in deathly silence. OM wondered what he had said. For an instance, he cursed himself, for revealing about the dream. But then he was relieved, for now he could see the future clearer.

OM's mother seemed distressed. She had no other choice to accept as for the two strong reasons. But she also couldn't let him go. Such was the expression of OM's father and sister. They seemed zooming out. No one had a clear idea about the situation except Prabhu, OM and his mother. Taking advantage of the silence, she thought for a moment. It was not possible for her to leave OM. Here, there was the dream involved. "OM would not lie" said she to herself, "He says that he saw a dream so it really must be. Now how shall this move on. This deathly silence..." She shrugged.

The silence grew stronger and all were left in confusion. "Yes" said OM's mother after a moment of thinking. She knew her actions well. "Whatever OM shall wish". OM was left with a choice; but a rather tough one. Here there was the family, with whom he was attached. Here again there was Prabhu, who was a boon from Lord Rama. "What would you choose, OM?" asked Prabhu. All stared at OM with earnest eyes waiting for only one word from OM's mouth. Silence once again grew ugly. Then OM said, "I will go, maa". Her heart broke....