Falling Daisies

Chapter 21

I got Chris’ number but after a couple of flirty texts back and forth it fizzled out to nothing more than what it ultimately was. A drunken pull. He was nice, he was funny, he was attractive... He just wasn’t Ben. Equally Ben and I remained frosty with each other. I still wore the bracelet though, I wouldn’t take it off, yet I made sure it was covered with a long sleeved top or jumper whenever I was in his presence. He wouldn’t know how much he occupied my thoughts.

Winter passed and the New Year came; Daisy meanwhile got weaker. The months turned to spring and as the blossom began to bloom pink on the leaves and new life sprouted their leaves from sprigs, the pink of health started to flicker out of Daisy. The sparkle was starting to fade. The light was going out.

I was attending more of her chemo sessions with her now, since Ben had picked up a few extra shifts at the pub; I told myself it was because he felt awkward around me but then I thought not to be so selfish and realise that it was because he found it hard to watch the girl he loved wither away. She went to a hospice to receive treatment instead of hospital now and sometimes spent a night or two there. The place smelt strong of lavender, overpowering and claustrophobic and it became a scent that began to knock me sick whenever it flared through my nostrils in an unsuspecting environment.

The place, ‘Hope Falls’, was surprisingly cheerful however, despite its painfully ironic name. Sunlight streamed in through the glass panelled walls on the East side and the place was vibrant with colour; mainly calming blues and pastel lilacs. It had a large courtyard out to the back too, where its in-house patients could relax, with vast grounds stretching for miles as far as the eye could see. It reminded me very much of the garden’s at the back of the retirement home Gram’s lived in before. Small daisies and dandelions covered the green and there was an abundance of new trees sprouting up around its boarder. I had enquired once about them and discovered to my sadness, that everytime one of their patients died, they planted a tree in remembrance which would live for thousands of years, where they could not. 

Everything was pleasant here, the food, the staff, the patients... You wouldn’t think it was a place people go to die when it was so...alive.

Daisy didn’t like me being in the room whilst she was getting treatment and quietly I was glad; fearful as I was, that I would become queasy and be more of a hindrance than help to her. So therefore I had to find other ways of entertaining myself. One day I was strolling around the building, trying to find the ladies room, when I stumbled across the children’s wing that had fast become my favourite place to visit over the weeks. There were currently six children between five and fourteen who occupied the residence and it broke my heart how they remained so full of joy and childish optimism, when they were soon going to... Not that they were all old enough yet to truly understand.

There was one little boy, Jacob, who was five yet had the comical personality of an eighty year old man, with scruffy ginger hair and big bug glasses which magnified his pupils to the size of saucers; he was my favourite. When I walked in, he ran up to me and threw his tiny arms around my legs as he didn’t even come up to my waist.

“Have you drawn me a picture Lucy?” he asked eagerly.

We had been doodling one day and I had ended up sketching him. Since then, every time I came, he requested another picture and I was more than happy to oblige the little boys wishes.

“Actually,” I said, crouching down so that I was level with him, “I thought maybe you could draw me one today...”

“But Lucy, I’m no good at drawing!” he sighed and stuck out his bottom lip which would have been humorous if I knew his little heart wasn’t breaking.

“Nonsense! Come on! Draw me a picture of yourself to keep and I will draw you a.... Dinosaur!” I bargained and when his little face lit up, he hurried to the art table and busily began drawing away.