color blind | e.d

vii. uneven ground

What a week it had been. From Ethan and I meeting to us going on our first "date" as friends, this week was hectic, especially with all the racist and disapproving people. Their opinions may not have mattered to Ethan, but they mattered to me, because this was what I was going to have to face for the rest of my life regardless of who I would be with in the future.

Today is the mark of two weeks for me and Ethan knowing each other. What better way than to spend it in the exact shop, exact table, exact window. Of course he showed up prior to when I did, because that's him for you.

I made sure that I looked soft and refined, with a light colored rose gold sweatshirt and some cream white pants, a pair of white Nike Roshes on my feet. I hoped I looked cute enough with light blush and makeup, nothing bold or heavy.

Then again, why was I trying to impress Ethan? Sure, he was attractive enough, kind of tall, and had the most amazing voice ever, but that didn't give me any reason to do this. Or maybe it did because then I wouldn't have took thirty minutes to get dressed and find this outfit, let alone practice how I wanted our conversation to go.

I scheduled this meeting to talk about our growing friendship. There was some things that needed to be cleared up, even if either one of us didn't like what each other had to say.

"So AJ," Ethan takes a sip of his coffee while staring at me from underneath his dark eyelashes. The nickname makes my heart skip a beat.

"What are we exactly here for? I am aware that this is where we met a week ago," he smiles at me, those pretty shade of brown eyes staring into mine.

My confidence is running low now that I'm actually face to face with one of the closest people I have. I imagined this conversation a little different in my head, but I ignore the gut feeling and just push ahead, telling Ethan the real reason why we are here.

"I wanted to talk about our friendship," I blurt out to him, my fingernail tracing the outline of my cup filled with tea.

"What's wrong with it?" he asks cautiously. I glance out the window and rub my lips together before taking a deep breath.

"There's everything wrong with it but then at the same it's not," I say in irritation, turning my attention to him.

"What's so wrong about it?" he asks for the second time. I groan, shaking my head.

"This." I motion back and forth to our skin. "I mean, I don't mind us being friends, but if we continue to go on dates then things are going to only get worse. People don't like to see a black girl with a white boy and vise versa. Society won't allow it. Some parents just won't allow it."

"Since when did you give two fucks about society?" Ethan starts to get pissed. I can tell by the change in his tone. "Society is what messed you up. If I want to be friends with you, I'm going to be friends with you. If I didn't, why in the hell would I have sat down beside you?"

These gears aren't going in the direction I want them to. Instead, I'm left completely speechless and slightly on edge at the fact that he could explode, but so can I. I wait quietly.

"AJ, you're letting irrelevant people come between us, and that's not cool. I can't believe someone like yourself, someone so beautiful and smart and intelligent, would let people dumb as rocks ruin a friendship," he starts to say, his jawline sharp.

"You don't understand!" I raise my voice at him, my voice wavering in frustration. His facial expressions soften just slightly, but in his eyes they softened deeply.

"You don't understand," I say now barely above a whisper with hot tears brimming my waterline.

"What do I not understand?" he asks softly.

"I have to deal with this type of stuff for the rest of my life. Being a black person, you deal with racism almost everyday all because either people think they're better than you or know they can get more things that you. I'm working twice as hard as you just to get the sane amount of money you do. I have to struggle longer than you. Then, people see us together, and they not only take their hatred out on you, they take it out on me, " I explain thoroughly to him, hoping I got this through his head.

Ethan goes silent for a few moments. I'm almost positive I've destroyed my reputation towards him, making it seem like I don't care and all when in reality, I do. I care more than he knows.

"Ethan," I sigh, running a hand through my curly hair, "I understand if you don't want to be friends with me anymore because of this situation. I'm going home."

Slowly, I pack my things up and make my way towards the counter. He stops me by grabbing my arm softly.

"There's actually something I have to tell you, too" he says. "You may want to sit down for this."

Cautiously I lower myself back in the seat I was in, swallowing some saliva that had gathered in my mouth. My heart sinks down in my stomach which was weird. I have nor had any idea why. Why did this conversation seem to hard?

"AJ. I know I've only known you for two weeks exactly today, but these two weeks with you have been the most fun for me. You never fail to put a bright smile on my face. You can ask Grayson, I think about you nonstop and just can't seem to keep you out if my head. You're - I know this is going to sound cheesy as fuck- but you're this beautiful distraction that somehow keeps me motivated."

I can't help but blush at all the compliments, but I think I know where this conversation is going. It's starting to make me wonder a lot.

"To skip to the point, I like you, as in more than a friend. And you'd make me the very happiest boy in the world if you would continue to go out on dates and be my girlfriend," Ethan fiddles with my straw paper, wrapping it around his fingers before pausing and glancing up at me.

I'm completely speechless. Should I say yes? Should I say no? My mouth begins to dry out and my mind is swirling like crazy.

"Please say something," he begs quietly, quickly grabbing my hand. The look in his eyes is so passionate that I even want to tear up. The tension between us is too strong, and it's my turn to break that silence.

"Yes. I will go out on dates with you and be your girlfriend," I say with this amazing smile. He does the same, breathing out in relief and leaning back in his seat and glancing at the ceiling.

"She said yes," he says too himself before averting his hazel green eyes to me. "You said yes!" People glare at him by how loud he was being. It kinda made me laugh.

"Shhh."

"I promise, pinky promise, I'll make you the happiest girl ever," Ethan takes my hands in his, giving them a squeeze before letting go and fist pumping the air.

"You've made this the best day ever."

"all she wanna do is smoke that broccoli"
- anyways aye I finally got this up and for that one person who likes all this, I see you! And ilysm. Xx
-m.xo