Déjà Vu - A Connie/Jacob Fanfiction

Chapter 19

"Jacob please, just get out," she sighed, putting her head in her hands, knowing that Chris had worked out the truth.

"Con, have you been crying?" He asked, ignoring her command.

"It's fine, Jacob. Please, go."

"What's that lad been saying to you? Can I have a word with you please?" Connie looked to Chris, whose hand she was still holding, and he nodded to let her go. Connie stood slowly, not wanting to talk to Jacob, and made her way anxiously to the middle of the room to meet him. He was stood firmly, with his arms folded, and his impatience for Connie furrowed his brow. He had followed her instructions without once asking why, and now she was just being completely ridiculous, and he refused to do anything else for her until he knew why. He explained this to her, and she didn't know what to say.
"Connie, it's not that difficult," he whispered harshly, so that the patient wouldn't hear. "You obviously want to keep me away from that patient, so just tell me the damn reason!"

"Jacob, you just need to trust me. I will tell you, I will," she begged, tears forming in her eyes again.

"No!" He shouted, causing her to jump. "No! Connie, I'm done just trusting you to tell me later. Tell me now, or that's it - we're done."

"We'll be over anyway once you find out!" She cried loudly, and the sound of her heart smashing into a million pieces could be heard in her cries.

"Damn it, Connie! What can be so goddamn awful that I'll leave you for telling me?"

"He's our son, Jacob!" She screamed, and suddenly silence fell upon the previously hectic room. The silence was torture, as Connie wanted him to shout back, but he hadn't, and she wanted to know how he was feeling. "Yours, and mine." She whispered eventually, clarifying, though it was a slightly pointless statement. She placed her head in her hands and began to curse herself for telling him like that. She'd wanted to tell him calmly, when she could explain the situation, not drop a bombshell like this on him.
"Jacob, say something," Connie whispered after a small pause. "Please."

"My... Son?" He asked, his eyes transfixed on one point on the floor and a look of horror etched across his face. "What the hell do you mean? How can he be my son?" It was clear to Connie that Jacob had forgotten the final time they'd had sex as a teacher and student, and had not used a condom, but rather than replying to his rhetorical questions, she just allowed him a couple of seconds to process it all. All of a sudden, Jacob grabbed Connie and pulled her across the room, pushing up against the wall and holding her firmly in place with one hand across her neck. She coughed and spluttered a couple of times as she tried to escape his brutal force, and she saw Chris sit up worriedly from the corner of her eye.

"Jacob, don't, don't. I know you don't understand but please, this isn't you. Let me go. You might not want to accept it but he's your son, and he's watching. What do you think he's going to think of his dad?" Connie said desperately, panicking. She knew that Jacob wasn't a violent man and the last thing she wanted was Chris getting the wrong impression of his father because of something that she did.

"He's going to think I'm a worthless piece of trash who abandoned his pregnant mother," Jacob scowled, pushing on Connie a little harder. "And I couldn't help you because I didn't bloody know. How long was it Connie, huh? Couldn't have been more than a couple of months before you went abr- oh shit. Is that why you went? You went so you could have my kid on the other side of the world and never have to tell me about it? Was that it? Huh?"

"Partly, yes," she muttered, nodding her head frantically. She was honestly petrified - she'd never seen Jacob like this before. She knew that he wasn't going to hurt her, she was almost sure of that, but she just wished he'd let her go. "I found out a few days before I left. He was conceived two weeks before." Jacob suddenly remembered the time they had had sex without protection, and he let go of Connie immediately, walking backwards slowly and putting his hands behind his head.

"I told you I was worried about that," he hissed. "I told you I was worried and you told me there was no chance because you were on the pill." Connie's heart sunk - she had been dreading him remembering about the lie she'd told him to stop him from panicking.
"You lying bitch." He scowled, and Connie could see that he was completely broken. "You cow."

"Jacob I'm so sorry. You were a student. You had your whole life ahead of you." She sobbed, and he just scoffed at her, turning his head away. He was unable to look at her, and that hurt Connie more than anything.

"Don't you dare say you did this to protect me! You wanted to protect yourself and you didn't want to be burdened with me, a child, and a bad reputation for screwing your student. You disgust me. You absolutely repulse me." He was speaking calmly now, and Jacob paced up and down the room thinking, whilst Connie stood snivelling in the other corner. Chris didn't dare to speak. He hated being the cause for this, but at the same time he was glad that the truth was finally out. He didn't resent his dad, as how could he expect his father to look after him if he didn't even know he existed? As for his mum, he understood why she did what she did, and he hoped that his parents would find a way to work through it, and accept him into their family.

"Jacob I love you," Connie cried, in a final attempt to stop him from leaving her. He opened his mouth to reply but he simply couldn't, and just turned around to look at her guilt-ridden face.

"You gave my baby boy to a stranger," he whispered, and Connie just looked at his broken remains, begging for forgiveness.

"That stranger offered him a better life than we ever could have done. You must understand that. You said yourself that you wouldn't know how to cope being a father, and I felt the same about being a mother. But giving him away was still the worst thing I've ever had to do, you must believe me." Jacob didn't reply, and so Connie moved over to Chris, and took her purse off the cabinet beside him. She pulled out her crumpled photograph of her in the hospital bed with baby Chris in her arms, and passed it to Jacob hesitantly, with shaking hands. His eyes welled up as soon as he saw it, and Connie kept her hand firmly around his as he got lost in the photo, stroking across it gently.

"You kept it with you?" He asked quietly, and Connie nodded.

"Not one day passed by where I didn't think of that beautiful little boy. Our son. Jacob, he's not a baby anymore, but he's still ours." Jacob looked up and the two made eye contact, and one glance into Connie's eyes showed him just how bad she felt, and so he encased her in a tight hug, allowing her to sob tears of relief into his shoulder.

"I hate you for not telling me sooner," he whispered. "But I understand, and we can get past this. I love you, beautiful." He kissed her forehead and Connie closed her eyes as she rested against his chest, rocking slowly from side to side with him.

"I love you most," she replied, and he lifted her chin up to meet his so that he could kiss her, and they were only brought back to reality by the sound of a camera shutter closing, and they turned simultaneously to realise that Chris had just taken a photo of the two of them on his phone. The two made their way across to Chris' bed, and Jacob encased the man in a small man-hug, since the boy's injuries prevented him from being moved too much.

"I don't blame either of you," Chris said, as his parents sat beside him, and Connie ran a hand through his hair lovingly. "I'm just glad we're together now."

"Me too," Connie smiled. "And it's going to take a hell of a lot to separate us now."