How Do You QA Test a Tsundere Android!?

Test 14: The Little Model

I spend nearly an hour playing some brainless MMORPG on my phone. Before I realize it, the hour approaches 14:00.

A man suddenly enters the room, dragging a bed on wheels. He slides the bed near the room's wall, at which point I notice that a person is lying on top of it.

The man connects a few cables to the bed, then turns to me.

"The rest is up to you, darling."

"Huh...?"

The man salutes and winks, then quickly leaves the room.

Just... what...?

I put down my phone and approach the bed.

A small girl is resting on it, just a kid of about 10 years old. She has pretty blonde hair, which is tied into pigtails. A dark-blue dress covers her fair skin, it reaches all the way to her knees.

By inspecting her appearance, it's easy to mistake her for a sleeping human girl. But she is most likely the so-called "model" Eric was talking about.

My theory is immediately proven by the remote controller beside her. The biggest button on the gray remote is the standard on/off button. From the looks of it, this girl isn't just sleeping – she's completely turned off.

After confirming that nobody is watching, I quickly poke the girl's cheek. T-this is just QA testing, nothing to see here!

The girl doesn't respond.

I'm tempted to switch her on, but I decide to wait for Eric's permission. He told me to call him once the android is delivered, so I head out of the room to do just that.

Eric comes along to room 635, wearing a dispirited expression as usual; it's respectable that he maintains a friendly behavior all the same.

"Let's get this over with."

He walks toward the bed and points at the "sleeping" girl.

"This brat here is the model you'll be testing. She is modeled to act like a human kid, who can either be the owner's 'sister' or 'daughter'."

He picks up the android's remote and turns toward me.

"This is the remote for operating her. It has a number of functions, but for now you only need to know the obvious: the on/off button."

He points the remote at the sleeping girl.

"You'll get access to the user manual once you have a comp, so learn the rest yourself. Honestly, even I don't know all the options; for now, let's play it safe and not press anything else."

"Got it."

"First, pick her up from the bed and make her stand on the floor."

I follow Eric's instructions and approach the bed.

The defenseless blonde girl is sleeping without making a sound.

Her fair skin, her blonde hair, her clothes - everything is too human, so much that it manages to disturb me.

"I-is it really okay if I do it? I might break something, or..."

I turn to Eric with a pleading face.

"Don't worry, just be gentle and make sure to not drop her."

He pats on my shoulder, with no intention of switching roles.

Without a choice, I VERY slowly and VERY carefully stretch my hands toward her small frame.

D-damn, this feels so wrong. It's like approaching a random kid on the street and suddenly grabbing them.

"Ah...!"

I jump a little when my fingers make contact with her dress. However, the girl herself doesn't react at all.

When Amy was smaller, she'd often rebel like a furious kitten whenever I tried to pick her up. That's the kind of reaction I came to expect, from both kids and cats alike.

The girl's lack of reaction gives me a little confidence about this ordeal I'm facing.

She's not reacting, even though a human kid should.

She's not sleeping, she's completely turned off.

She's not a human, she's a robot.

Before this surge of confidence runs out, I quickly stuff my hands under the girl's armpits and try to raise her.

Ugh, this is...!

S-she is...! So...!

"H-heavy!!!"

How much does this little girl weight!? That's not the weight of a kid!

"Ugh!!"

I channel strength into both hands and slowly detach her from the bed, but she's so incredibly heavy that I can't properly lift her.

"Pft, haha."

S-stop laughing, Eric! Ughhhh!!!

"Okay, that's enough, haha. Just put her down, heh."

I do as he says and gently return the girl to her bed.

"Haa... haa..."

I pant and wipe the sweat formed on my forehead.

"Heh, that was a good show. Don't worry, she can get down from the bed on her own."

"Is that so..."

Eric! You scum!!!

"Just... haa... how much the heck does she weight?"

"According to the manual, she's about 70 kilo."

"Wha... seriously?"

Where the heck could they fit 70 kilo in such a small girl!?

That's definitely not the weight of 10 years old kid; Amy wasn't nearly as heavy around that age.

"70 kilo... I think that's at least twice the weight of a normal kid."

"Probably even more than that."

"You said this model will be released this month, right?"

"Sure did."

"And... are we fine with this? I mean, this unreasonable weight."

"'We'?"

"Umm, well... the company? The client? Wouldn't you normally want to lift your daughter or sister from time to time?"

"Yes, it does sound like a disaster when your little kid is as fat as you are. I heard they are working on reducing the weight in some other department, but that's not my business."

He shrugs in disinterest. It's not his job, so he doesn't care; classic damn programer.

"I'll turn it on now. She should be configured as a 'daughter' type, if Lou didn't mess up. As I mentioned there's also a 'sister' configuration, but we won't be focusing on it in this release.."

He puts a finger against the on/off button while pointing the remote at the girl.

"When she wakes up, she'll first get down from the bed and will search for her owner. Stand in front of her and introduce yourself as her dad."

"G-got it."

Introduce myself as the father of a 10 years old kid... t-that's... I'm... I'm too young for this! And I don't even want to have kids!

"The first order you absolutely must give her is to not leave this room. We don't want to run the risk of her getting outside and causing trouble."

"Yeah, I can agree with that..."

With that sorted out, he confidently presses the on/off button and my legs begin to shake.

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