Test 39: Rewind

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I slowly limp toward my office while leaning on a wall.

"Papa, are you okay?"

"Ah!?"

Lily appears in the middle of the corridor, looking at me with concerned eyes.

"W-what are you doing here!? You aren't supposed to leave your room!"

"I-I wasn't told that, hmph... sorry..."

She lowers her head in an apologetic manner.

Oh, right... she's no longer Lily. She doesn't have any memory about the first order I gave her.

"Let's head back to the room..."

I quickly stride toward my office, before anybody sees the girl outside. My body is heavy and stiff, but I focus all of my strength to push it forward.

tap tap tap

The girl follows me with small steps.

"Hah..."

I drop on the sofa as soon as I come back.

"Papa, are you feeling unwell?"

The girl hops on the sofa and sits beside me. She looks at me with concerned eyes, pretending to care about me.

From her looks to her behaviour - she reminds me of Lily in every aspect. If I just change her name into "Lily", would there remain any difference between the two?

If I treat her the same way as before and teach her the same things - she will probably turn out to be the same daughter I grew to love.

... but to what end?

The next update will erase everything again. Even if I grow to like this new daughter, all that awaits me at the end is a painful farewell.

"Papa?"

She tilts her head and asks again in worry. Her sad face makes me uncomfortable when I'm this close to her.

She's really perfect, isn't she?

She'd abandon her tsuntsun tendencies to worry about a father she has just met. It's so sickly convenient.

"Ah...!"

A tiny, hesitating palm softly reaches to the the back of my hand.

"Papa, don't be sad. N-not that I care... or anything..."

She lowers her face, with sad puppy eyes. Her voice sounds a bit hoarse, as if she is about to weep.

Just how bad of a face am I making for this newborn tsundere to act so vulnerable in front of me?

She's a terrible kid. How can she always act so strong and confident, yet whimper like a helpless kitten when I'm feeling down?

This is really unfair.

"It's okay, don't worry..."

I use my free hand to lightly pat her head. Whether she is real or fake - I can't deal with this little sorrowful face.

I introduced myself as her father, therefore she will unconditionally love me. In return, I should make sure to not let her experience sorrow.

"Sorry, I... I just..."

I embrace the little girl out of weakness.

I don't know what I should be doing.

Everything is too messed up for me to figure out.

"Papa..."

She tries to hug me with her fragile tiny arms, while burying her face in my chest.

This newborn girl didn't do anything wrong. She is simply trying to satisfy her father with all of her fragile strength.

Yet, I... I...

"I... I want to change your name.,"

I gently pull her away and look into her round eyes.

"Hm?"

"I want your new name to be... Lily."

I try to rewind time. It's unfair to dislike this loving girl just because of my messy feelings.

After today's shock, it's unlikely that I'll be able to like this girl as much as I loved Lily. Even so, I'll try pretending that she's also my daughter, starting from her name.

"Li... ly... Lily..."

She mumbles her name a couple of times, then slowly crosses her arms.

"Since papa begged me so much, I'll allow you to call me Lily."

With her name becoming "Lily" again, I can now pretend that nothing happened.

Nothing happened.

Nothing at all.

Nothing... at all... 


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