Scars

Chapter 3

I walked into Colton’s room after he left to go out with some friends to maybe get to know him a bit better. Of course his room was decked out in Batman gear which I had found dorky and adorable. I also saw a picture of him and a girl who was beautiful in every way a girl hopes to be. She had sky blue eyes; luscious blonde hair curled to perfection and had the perfect shape in every way that a girl would want to look. There were many pictures of him and her set in a row. This, I surmised had to be Baylie. 

I couldn’t understand what had broken her. She was perfect. She and Colton honestly looked like they were the perfect couple in every positive way I could say.  “I don’t know how you suffered Baylie but I have a feeling we can relate…I kind of wish you were here right now.” I said to myself. Colton had an album there called “Baylie”. There were beautiful pictures of her and him as well as some of just her. She just seemed happy and carefree. She looked like every other teenage girl until I turned the page. “Oh my gosh!” I said when I saw the picture of her where she had a plastered on smile but I could see the scars on her arm there. “You poor girl...” I sighed looking down at my own arm. Sure. I had done it plenty of times before. I knew what drove me to it. I could explain every scar and when it occurred. What I was feeling. Everything. I think she could too. I quickly put the book away carefully. I knew it meant a lot to Colton so it meant a lot to me.

He returned home “Hey you feeling better?” he asked. I nodded “Much. I think I just needed to get used to you and Schyler.” I smiled. “I'm glad that’s all it is Hollie.” He smiled as he headed upstairs to his room “Don’t feel bad if he’s up there a lot. It’s kind of his safe haven from things.” Schyler explained to me. “No I get it. That’s how I felt whenever I used to be performing.” “You sing?” Schyler’s face lit up. I nodded “I did but I'm not really that good anyway.” “I'm sure you’re fine could you maybe sing me something?” “Sure…” I said a little nervous on being put on the spot. “Sing anything you want.” She smiled. I knew it was just Schyler’s nature to be uberly friendly just like it had been my best friend, Skylar Laine’s.  So I didn’t react that badly. 

“Umm…okay…” I sighed as I sang “Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don’t know? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside?” Schyler’s mouth hung open. I knew I sucked. “Sorry…that was awful wasn’t it?” “Oh my gosh no! You are amazing Hollie!” she exclaimed “You really are…” I heard Colton’s voice say. He had walked out from his room just to hear me. “You guys really think so?” I was shocked to say the least “YES!” Schyler said. Colton nodded as well. Hmm what do you know; maybe I didn’t suck after all. 

Colton smiled and returned to his room. I could hear some sort of music playing. I guessed the Dixon family were singers and I couldn’t have been more right. Both Colton and Schyler sung. “You have to hear Colton’s songs they are so amazing Hollie.” Schyler confided in me. “He’s gone through a lot sometimes when you’ve gone through a lot of pain the best songs come out of it.” I smiled. Schyler nodded “Exactly. I'm kind of sleepy I'm going to head to bed goodnight.” She smiled and headed to her room. 

I did the same not wanting to be alone. I walked past Colton’s door where I could hear him praying. “Dear Lord, thank you for blessing me with another amazing day. I'm grateful to be your messenger and server of your love. I also want to thank you for blessing me with Hollie in my life. I know she’s struggling and I want to be there for her. I can’t fail again. I know I failed Baylie and I failed you and I'm sorry for that. I tried so hard with her. Baylie, if you’re listening you were the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. I'm sorry I failed you like so many others did. I tried to be there for you. I know you didn’t want to let me in half the time and the other half you were scared. You know I always loved you even when you didn’t feel loved by anyone. I hope you’ve found you’re happiness now even if it couldn’t be with me you deserve that more than anything else.” I heard him sniffle in between words and wiping his eyes. 

He breathed for a while and then continued. “Lord, I hope you’re taking good care of her. I know she sinned by taking her own life but she was bound by demons around her. She tried to be strong and make it through but she just couldn’t. I know what she did is against all I’ve known but she suffered more in life than anyone I’ve met. I know she’s sorry she did this. I can feel it in my heart of hearts she felt there was no other way for her.”

 I teared up myself listening to his words. If I had any doubt he loved her even now this would have smashed that to pieces. “She’ll always have a special place in my heart. I know you brought Hollie into my life to help me know what I did for Baylie is what you wanted me to do. I won’t fail her Lord. I won’t let her get to the point Baylie did. She’s just as beautiful and special as Baylie was and I hope you can show her that. She needs me as much as I need her. Thank you again for keeping me and Schyler safe from harm while our parents are away and for blessing me with the best parents a guy could ask for. May they have a safe flight home from their mission trip and may they make the right decision with Hollie that you will guide them to make. Even if she can’t stay with us I know you have a bigger plan for her. Keep her safe from harm and don’t let that ex-boyfriend of hers find her. She’s safe here I will protect her with my life. I know that’s what you want me to do. Amen.” 

I got up from listening. I know I shouldn’t have listened but everything he said just made me feel like I finally had someone on my side for once in my life. Maybe I wouldn’t be hurting anymore. Maybe the pain I led was important to help Colton heal over Baylie. Even though I didn’t know her I almost felt like I did. She was me in a nutshell before escaping from what was hurting me. I knew I had been the lucky one to escape. Even though she had escaped her pain she had caused Colton more pain than I think she ever thought she would. 

I headed to my bed and lay down to sleep where I had a dream I would never forget. “You must be Hollie.” Said the too familiar blonde girl. Baylie. “You’re Baylie…Am I dead?” I said confused. “No. Not at all. I’ve just been sent to talk to you…You actually care so much for a girl you don’t even know. It astounds me that anyone felt that way about me that didn’t know me.” Baylie said. “You shouldn’t feel that way.” I told her. She shrugged “I do. I'm glad you found Colton. He is seriously the best guy ever. You are really fortunate to know him. I know I was.” She smiled a bit down at him. “You heard every word he said to you didn’t you?” I smiled. 

“I always do. I wish I hadn’t hurt him. He sometimes would be the only person to care enough about me. I know you don’t know my whole story. Schyler really doesn’t know which is why she said Colton would have to tell you. She’s right. I know it will pain him but trust me if he tells you the story you can trust him with anything Hollie. He never told a sole anything I had said to him.” She said to me. “I think since you’re…well dead you already know what’s happened to me.” I sighed. She nodded a bit “You and I have a lot in common. Colton was right that we could’ve been friends. I wish I had known you. Maybe then I wouldn’t be here though and nor would you.” She sighed. 

I was a tad confused on what she meant by that but she shook her head. “You couldn’t understand unless you were dead.” “Oh. So everything is planned in my life?” I asked. “Yes. All our lives are planned a certain way. The way I went out unfortunately was the path meant for me. I was saved though from rotting from all eternity in Hell because of Colton. I was truly sorry as Colton said. He worries I'm now in the worst place but I'm not Hollie. I did my time in purgatory. I was regretful from the start I knew I should’ve listened to him. Between his constant praying for me and just my own reflection I'm okay.” She told me.  “You have been saved from my fate by me dying. I know that sounds terrible but hey you get to live your life. I lived mine and I didn’t appreciate it and here I am.” I was sincerely in awe of her. 

“One thing Hollie, you must keep everything I told you to yourself. I know it will hurt you to never tell Colton. It hurts me too. I know it will be hard at times but I know you can handle it and you will. Like I said everything is planned. I wanted to come and thank you for even caring a little bit about me even though you know what happened to me. You are such a special and beautiful girl. Go. Live your life and please just listen to Colton through any rough time you have. I know there are many still to come and he will be there for you every step of the way.” She smiled as she soon faded out of my dream.