Musicals In Love *DISCONTINUED*

Oh Look Gabilliam And An Insight To Gabe's Head

Gabe was kind of tired. Mentally, not physically. He hated having everyone bug him and get on his back about fucking everything.

His parents harassed him about school and finding a college and give up his music. He was slowly trying to find a college to attend but at this point, he didn't care. He loved his trombone and he loved taking bass lessons. As expensive as they both were, they made him happy. His dad didn't seem to think so. He kept bugging him and asking when he'd grow the fuck up and do something properly. To find something 'real' to study at college. His mum found it cute that he liked it but kept asking when he'd get a real job that'd support him financially.

The only problem with his music was that he didn't care anymore. He didn't practise and he'd skip rehearsal every so often. He's stopped caring and Gabe can't figure out when he stopped caring. He loves his trombone but now, it has no appeal. Why he hated it, he also had no clue and right now, he wasn't in the mood to try and love it again.

Ryan was also bugging him. As much as Gabe loved his best friend (platonically or romantically was still in question) he was tired of going to Ryan's aid. He knew Ryan had issues and was mentally fucked up, but it kind of drained him every time Ryan had a panic attack or freaked out about everything. Still, Gabe loved helping Ryan and he knew Ryan was getting better, even if it was slowly. It just felt like Gabe was being used. Ryan spent most of his time with Brendon and only seemed to call him when he was having a panic attack or feeling upset and suicidal. It made Gabe happy that he was Ryan's go-to person but he felt off about it.

Even Vicky had left him. He and Vicky were never a thing but at least he felt wanted half the time they spent together. But no, Vicky called it off the moment she found herself a girlfriend and it hurt. He felt used and unwanted. Not just by Vicky, but by fucking everyone in his life.

For once, he wanted someone to talk to him and get to know him, ask him how he was.

Gabe was wrapped in a scarf and jacket, sitting outside on a bench in some park he and Ryan used to play at. He couldn't imagine little them running anymore. All he could picture was little kids, playing tiggy or some imaginary game, unaware how fucked up life was once you got over the innocence and naivety that came with being a child.

'I'd kill to be a child again.' He mumbled, taking a small drag of his cigarette. At least then, I don't have to know about growing up and everything that came with it. I fucking miss not knowing anything. I miss being kept in the dark.

He hated how he always wished he could grow older and become an adult as it appeared more fun. Boy how he was wrong and he wasn't even an adult, not fully.

And what Gabe couldn't figure out was how he went from leaving school at four in the afternoon, after band and ending up in a shitty, dead park at eleven at night. His mind was blank and he couldn't figure out where and why he went.

He just stared at the swings that swung slightly and the cold breeze made him shiver. Gabe had no idea what he was feeling anymore. Just felt numb.

He took another drag of his cigarette before stomping it out and leaning back, looking around. He dragged his hands over his face with a heavy sigh.

'You okay there, buddy?' Gabe's head snapped up and he saw a boy a little bit younger than him with long hair and a nice face.

'Uh, yeah. Um, no. Not really.' He let out a nervous laugh and the boy sat down beside him.

'Am I allowed to know what's bothering you or no? Is it because of the fact that I'm a stranger?' The boy asked and Gabe cracked a tiny smile.

'You can know if you want. But I've got to get your name first.'