Napkin Letters

F O U R T E E N

I broke as those words came out of his mouth. Those words I had wish he would tell to me one day. But now I knew it was never going to happen. And as much as I wanted and wish to be able to say I was over Cody Clarke I knew I wasn't. I never fully will be because he played such a big role in my life I could ever forget it. He was the first guy I actually let get close.

I wanted to move. I wanted to get out of this dreaded barn so bad but my legs wouldn't allow it. So I was force to watch as he slipped the ring onto her hand. Slowly and painfully then they kissed and wrapped each other into a hug.

Only then did our eyes met.

Only then did I let myself really cry that way I could show him how much he hurt me.

Only then did I allow myself to move.

I pushed past the crowd of people as tears cloud my vision. I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I just had to get out of there. I didn't stop once I made it out of the barn I keep running through the maze of cars that were parked right outside. Until I was sure I was completely alone. Out in the middle of a field. I then sat down and cried.

I cried harder then I had every cried in my life.

I was hurt, I was confused. But most of all I was mad.

Mad at myself for ever letting him go. Mad at Chad for ruining what could have been. Mad at my mother for ending it all so soon. Heck I was even mad I even came down here in the first place. Because then I would have never of met Cody Clarke and I would have never of known someone like him was out here.

I wish I could have taken those two months back because I regretted ever allowing him in. I wish he would have understood why I left. I left him that note, I told him I loved him wasn't that enough?

They probably followed the sounds of my sobs because soon Sage, Jane, and Courtney were at my side helping me up and wiping my tears. Sage keep apologizing for insisting we came tonight. As they lead the way back to Jane's car.

We drove in silence only my muffle cries and the radio were heard. We dropped Sage off were we had left her car before going and dropping Courtney off who gave me one last hug whispering sorry. Until finally it was just me and Jane.

"Don't worry he is going to get it when he comes home." Jane said after a moment of silence.

"No." I said my voice cracking.

She whipped her head in my direction confused.

"Don't go off on him and say that you hate Mollie because you don't. You and her were best friends in high school. His your brother and that was his choice so you-" I paused taking in a deep breath. "You need to support him."

"But I can't when that was a stupid choice. Mollie is just going to marry him and then get a divorce so she can get part of the land. She is tricky that way. I know his not over yo-" I cut her off.

"Jane." I begged. "Please not tonight."

She must have noticed how much I was pleading for her to drop the subject because her mouth shut tight.

I didn't need to hear how he wasn't over me when clearly he was or else he wouldn't of just asked some girl to marry him. We settled back into silence until we pulled up to Tate's house.

"Do you think he knows?" I asked looking over at Jane.

She nodded slowly.

"I think he has known for a while."

I shook my head forcefully.

"No he wouldn't hide something like that from me." I said confidently.