Taming Beasts » Twilight

D A R K N E S S

"Mom, listen. I don't know how to explain this, but I just need to tell you the total truth. I mean, this might freak you out an- ugh I'm blabbering." I took a deep breath. "I'm a werewolf." the laughter on the other end of the phone was taunting, reminding me how mentally insane I must have sounded. "I'm serious."
     "Honey, where are you? We need to talk face to face. You don't understand how crazy you sound, dear. Come back home."
I hung up.
Days were passing quickly after Sam and I met my parents in person. Together, we explained the supernatural world to them. Suddenly, I had less and less to worry about and more time to be free of doubt. Yet, I hadn't shifted back into a wolf since the first night I was attacked and that was something I was completely terrified of. Sam was proud, Paul was envious. It didn't take much to control my anger, though. I never really got angry, just scared.
     I had been sleeping in Quil's guest bedroom since Jacob only had room for himself and Billy. It was the nights I was left alone in the unfamiliar bedroom, that's when I grew anxious. I've always known I've had a problem with anxiety, but it felt like since I shifted all my emotions were on high. Every ounce of feeling demanded to be felt. I always felt like I was falling, falling into nothing, every single night. Like I was screaming and no one could hear me. Such a feeling would take over my body until pure exhaustion saved me.
     With that being said, I didn't like being alone, so I tried to avoid it as much as possible. I liked the beach, the forest and the people at La Push, but I just didn't like why I was there. I still hadn't been able to wrap my head around everything. I was barely recovering from the traumatic experience with the unknown creature in the woods, much less the fact I was a fur ball, literally. I wanted to take things slow, but everything was being shot at me like daggers, and I was barely dogging each one. I think Jared started to notice my emotional change when we'd talk about shifting, but his ego was also too big for him to confront me. I didn't care, but his awareness gave me slight hope.
     His comments never ranged less than inappropriate, but I was getting used to his idea of humor. When I wasn't alone or talking about the reality I chose to ignore, I was fine. Fine laughing with the boys I already loved. I was fine living at La Push.
....
     Aside from Sam, the pack was standing at the top of one of the highest cliffs I've ever seen. Sam never included himself in group activities. He was older and not as interested in the things we found fun, he also had his own reputation as alpha to hold. I could understand the importance of seeming responsible, but he had to of known nobody cared. Regardless, he was excluded from this narrative, just like all the other ones.
     The cold wind didn't affect my near bare body. I wore a sports bra and shorts, and not a goose bump rose on my tan skin. The rapid wind felt nice on my smiling face. However, my contentment was interrupted by Paul's hands shoving me aside. I watched as he performed a front flip in the air, falling into the ice cold water.
     "Your turn!" Jared shouted from the front of me, turning around to wink in my direction yet again. I smiled and shook my head.
    "I don't think that's the best idea..." I replied almost nervously.
     "Oh c'mon!" Jared hollered.
     "No, really. You don't understand i-"
     "Don't understand what? That you're a chicken?" Quil started reenacting a chicken's wings flapping while Jared made chicken noises. I felt my stomach drop slightly. They didn't realize how truly terrifying jumping of the edge would be, for me.  I shook my head once more. Jared rolled his eyes.
     "What happened to the fearless Taylor I know?"
     "I'm actually very fearful."
     "Fealess." Jared repeated.
     "Fearful."
      "Don't hold yourself back, have some fun." Jacob encouraged. I wrapped my arms around my body and slowly took five steps to the edge of the cliff, looking over at the dark, strong water. I imagined falling, falling into nothing. I knew I was making this all a mentally bigger deal than it actually was, but I couldn't ignore the anxiety my body produced.
      More chicken noises were made from behind me. I shook my head, turning around to the four boys mimicking my scarred expression. My mouth pulled into a relaxed smirk as I hid my emotions carefully. It was terrifying to consider, but before I could weigh the pros and cons I bent down, generating momentum and flew into a back flip, feeling nothing beneath my feet as I started falling into the dark water. The fall was over before I thought it'd be, making the cold liquid come as a surprise as it consumed my body. While the feeling of my stomach falling to my feet was uncomfortable, I enjoyed the feeling of flying. I swam to the surface to collect oxygen, the strong tides never affecting me. The second my ears came out of the water I heard hollering from above me. I looked up to the grey sky, then to the four boys that were falling down to join me one by one. I was surrounded by my friends in a matter of seconds.
     "Hey, wheres Pa-" I suddenly felt something hard smack my thigh. "Nevermind. I found him" I said giggling as Paul appeared out of the water. "Hi, Paul. How are you?"
     "Just dandy, Taylor."
     "Last one to the beach owes me ten bucks!" Embry announced. All the boys started swimming at full speed. I watched them pass me, rapid splashing the only visible movement. It took me a few seconds, but I realized if I didn't start swimming I'd be paying Embry ten dollars with the money I didn't have.
     Yet, something kept me back. The visual of a blur of a red flame falling into the water out of my peripheral vision stopped me in my tracks. I snapped my head to the side, only to find a large black wolf growling at the top of the cliff. Sam. Without warning, the smell of burning bleach invaded my nostrils, burning my throat. Before I had the chance to yell Sam's name, a steel grip was locked around my ankles, pulling me into the water. I tried to shake off whatever was holding me, but I was too weak. I used all my strength to swim to the top of the water with the unknown, heavy, rock-like substance that was weighing me down. My lips found air for only a few seconds, so I screamed as loud as I could until I was pulled back under the cold liquid. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I tried to pry strong fingers off of my ankles. I shook my legs sporadically, still not managing to ease the grip. I tried swimming up again, but I was just dragged deeper into the darkness. Salt water poured down my throat and nose, burning my insides. My body tried coughing the water up as a reflex, but being emerged in it wasn't helping my circumstance.
     I searched the murky water, unable to find anything to contribute to my escape. I knew then something wasn't drowning me, but someone. I looked down to an amused pale face, reminding me of the blonde haired boy that tried to kill me a week ago. I jerked my body harder, but it was no use. My limbs were becoming weak, and the water was supplying too much pressure. I looked down once more, pleading the redheaded girl to let me free, but her smile only became more pronounced as she dragged me deeper into the darkness.