The Quiet Kind Of Beauty -Marauder Era

Chapter 18

"Don't wanna call you in the night time

Don't wanna give you all my pieces

Don't wanna hand you all my trouble

Don't wanna give you all my demons

You'll have to watch me struggle

From several rooms away"

- The Run and Go, twenty one pilots

Clara could not believe she agreed to Sirius' obnoxious request; could not believe she let his looks crumble her resolve yet again. Regardless, she was actually curious as to what he would reveal... 

The butterflies in her stomach sprung into action, making her curl inwards slightly. Her mind whirled, what would she say? What if she said too much? Oh Merlin, what if I say something I'll regret? What if I don't say anything at all?! Shit, shit, shit- 

Before she could spiral into panic, Sirius came jogging through the door, looking a little out of breath but ruggedly handsome as always, clasping a small vial in his hand. 

"Before you ask why I even have this," He started upon noticing her apprehensive glance (which was for a totally different reason), "it's James'. He got it from Slughorn in the beginning of the year," 

Clara raised an eyebrow despite herself, "So you're stealing it from him?" 

He shrugged, moving to sit beside her. "I prefer the word borrowing," 

Clara eyed the small container warily. "I'm starting to have second thoughts about this," 

Sirius frowned. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to," He reminded. 

Clara struggled to recognize what she did want to do, mentally grasping for words. It wasn't that she didn't want to, rather it was the slight chance of admitting things she worked so hard to bury that frightened her. "It'd be a little unfair if I just chickened out after agreeing," She laughed nervously, tucking a strand of her hair.  

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Nonsense. We'll just do something else," He shrugged. 

Clara smiled gratefully, leaning back against her pillows. "Okay, what do you suggest?"

Sirius blew out a breath. "Can I ask you a question?" 

Clara frowned. "Sure, what is it?" 

"Why didn't you tell me you had a date?" He mumbled. 

The question hung in the air uncomfortably. Clara tensed slightly, thinking of all the reasons why she couldn't. Because, Sirius, I don't want to be a burden by telling you about whats really going on. It's my problem. I'd rather try to figure it out myself than get everyone involved. Instead, she opted for a feeble shoulder shrug.