How to Steal a Happy Ending

~Interlude: what should have been~

~~~ earlier that year. ~~~

At first glance, the pair was unassuming, almost indistinguishable from the other shoes on the rack. A rich, deep brown. No buckles, no tassels. Leather, tapering ever so slightly near the tip. They were sleek, sure. But oh so proper. Clean cut.

They were the farthest from anything about him. But they were perfect.

I picked them up, briefly wondering if James knew how to tie his shoe laces. Probably not...

"Could you get these packed?"

"Sure dear, what size?"

"Oh," I didn't realize I had on a smile till it fell. "I don't- I'm not sure."

"A size ten." Billy interjected from over my shoulder. To my questioning eyebrow she added, "I was Nate's secret Santa in junior year."

I let that go uncorrected and instead hoped that the two boys had the same shoe size. Not that Billy would've thought much of it if I said they were for James. But if she asked why, I wouldn't know the answer.

Part of me tried to ration that they were for that long abandoned bet we'd made over the summer. It tried to convince me that though we'd never decided a winner, it would be inevitably James.

But most of me didn't even care. Most of me just wanted to do nice something for him. Wanted to go out of my way for him. Wanted him to know I think of him even when he wasn't there. Especially when he wasn't there.