You said you loved me..

I hate you I love you

Feeling used but i'm still missing you... And I can't see the end of this, just wanna feel your kiss against my lips.....

I had been listening to I hate you I Love you for 2 weeks I just couldn't stop. Even if it made me think of....him..... I still felt like I had to listen to it, it gave me a feeling that made me feel safe, safe from all of the looks and rumors I had to see and hear in school. I mean that song was the only thing keeping me from dying. And Troye of course, he helped me a lot to.

The first 3 days after the break up I didn't eat anything but he was by my side and helped me, I mean I lost 8 kg (17 lb) which was a lot in 3 days. But he made me start to eat again.

I hate you I Love you, I hate that I Love you, don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you, I hate you I Love you I hate that I want you. You want her, you need her and I will never be her.......

"Knock knock"
I took the headphones out of my ears and said
- come in...

It was a saturday night and Troye was coming over to have a movie night with me.

- hi how are you? He asked, I could hear how hard he was trying to sound happy.
- I'm ok. I said
- ok, good well what movie do you want to see? I have How to be single, P.S I Love you and dirty grandpa. Your choice!
- hmmm.... How to be single! I like that movie, have you seen it? I asked Troye
- no I haven't! I found it in my moms drawer so I thought I'd bring it!
- Yeah well let's watch it I have popcorn downstairs and some pepsi.
- ok great! I'll go get it! He said

He then ran downstairs.

I think that I'am going to wright a longer chapter next time so I'll see you then!