You said you loved me..

Let's just give the fuck up

I stood infront of my mirror looking at every little detail.
- Oh honey you look great! My mom said and smiled.
- Thanks, i'm just thinking about her and that I'am going to see her dead body. It dosen't feel right.
- I know, but you don't have to deal with this alone Lilith darling, I'm here and your dad is to ok?
- Yeah, let's go!
- that's the spirit hun!

We drove to the church and it was crowded with people I had never seen before. My mom dropped me of and I walked in. I saw my name on one of the chairs in the front row, I sat down and after a while Cameron sat down beside me.

- oh hey... He said he was already trying hard not to cry.
- hey... I said not looking at him.
- I'm sorry.....
- I'm sorry to... I said
- For what? He asked
- Everything I said and looked at him
- But you haven't done anything wrong? I mean the thing you and Troye did was very brave and it really taught us a lesson..
- But Julia is dead! That is my fault!
- no it's not, I kind of said something when she tried to talk to me after you revealed yourself...
- what? I asked I was very curious about what he was going to say.
- I told her to end it and that was exactly what she did.

I was so confused even if he had just told me he kind of killed her I didn't care I just turned his head to mine and kissed him. They then roled in her coffin and the funeral began.

- Julia was a very great girl and she will be missed. Now Lillith Parker who was a close friend to Julia are going to have a little speech, you're welcome up Lillith.

I walked up to her coffin and unfolded my paper with the speech on I started.

- This is a big tradgedy and I'm so sorry for all of Julias relatives and friends and I loved her...

I stopped I can not stand her and say that, because that's not the truth I need to finally speak up and say what I really think and feel it's time.

- Sorry this is not right let me start over. We were not friends she bullied me for 3 years. And I guess that this could kind of be my fault I might have wished this to happend and it did, but I realize that this is not something good. I thought that if Julia died my life would be great and I was wrong I admit it I really was wrong very fucking wrong. I thought that this summer that is coming in 1 month would be so nice if Julia disapeard. But it's not going to be awesome, Beacuse there will not be anyone to you know hide from. Lele will not have anyone to spred rumors about me with, my ex boyfriend will not have anyone to fuck behind my back and Julias parents will not have a drunk teenager coming home at 6 am every night.

I stopped for a second

- My best friend will not have anyone to complain about. And I will not be scared. This might sound like something good but this only means that our lifes will change completely and you will hate it I will hate it. So let's just be sad and regret everything we said about her because we all know that she was the one who always was on our minds and she will always be. And there is nothing we can do about it.
So let's just give the fuck up!

I walked out of the church and I didn't look back I called a taxi and I booked the next flight to L.A

- I'am so not coming back to this shit hole of a town. Good bye Ohio and Hello L.A

This was the last chapter of this book but don't worry i'm soon coming back with a sequel to this book. Hoped you enjoyed Reading You said you loved me..