Lost Luna [Completed]

Chapter 11

 I love this poem and I hope you can take time out of your day to check it out! 

 "...at such moments of extreme panic and anguish you do manage that trick with time: you are at last free from the illusion that time is linear.

In panic, time stops: past, present and future exist as a single overwhelming force. You then, perversely, want time to appear to run forwards because the 'future' is the only place you can see an escape from this intolerable overload of feeling. But at such moments time doesn't move. And if time isn't running, then all events that we think of as past or future are actually happening simultaneously. That is the really terrifying thing. And you are subsumed. You're buried, as beneath an avalanche, by the weight of simultaneous events."   ~ Sebastian Faulks 

Eric kept the Luna; now named Lilly over her obsession with the wild lily's that grew around the lakes edge, busy so she would not fall into a depression. It was not hard as she was now learning how to talk at an incredible rate. She quickly was able to hold basic conversations with the other pack mates and leave her mental link open to hear others with ought any issues. She in order to protect all the future pups brought a scout to all the deadly plants she knew of. The process took only a few hours but the pack breathed easier now that they knew what to avoid. 

"Alpha why do the wolves treat me different?" Lilly asked. It had been a long day and Erick tired lay on his back over the soft blankets still piled in the corner while Lilly picked at a muffin next to him. "What do you mean?" He asked worried.

"Well" Lilly started, "They let me eat first if you are not their and when we run I always run ahead and they submit to me when I pass even your beta Alex." She said watching him carefully.  Eric had yet to broach the subject in his lessons with Lilly over her position as Luna and had simply figured she would never truly be a mate but a fellow pack leader, which he at this point was completely fine with. 

"Well your a Luna" He said hoping she would let it rest he was not really quite sure what to tell her. But like most things she insisted upon knowing so he sat up and explained. "A Luna must be born they are not made but only the Ze-Ev can birth a Luna, but they are a breed unto themselves. Much like Alphas they can live up to a thousand years if given the chance, and they are the only ones who can birth an Alphas pups. They help run a pack and usually help in the guarding of females and pups in an attack. They tend to be natural warriors and have an innate ability to calm others around them." He paused watching her, gauging her reaction. 

"So they are the female Alphas?" She questioned watching Eric closely.

"Yes"

"And they mate with the alphas to make pups?"

"If they want to" Eric said Quickly. "Mates are something never forced onto others and we have no mystical force that pairs mate together. Mates are couples who love each other and agree on what they want in life and so marry with the hopes of pups." He looked down and sighed. 

Lilly thought about this in silence for a few minuets contemplating what it meant. She was the only one the Alpha could ever mate with and she was the only one able to bear his pups. Her chest warmed at the thought in the wild an Alpha would choose a mate and they mated for life, she figured this would be much the same. But he had never given her any advances, never shown his interest in her as a mate. She did not know what to think. He had to want a mate and here she sat and yet he had never shown interest. Was she undesirable as a mate? She felt a strange emotion bubbling up in her chest making in hard to breath as her heart felt heavy in her chest. So she ran and Eric let her. 

Shifting into her wolf she tore into the forest. Pumping her muscles hard as she ran as fast as she possibly could her paws barley touching the ground, she was flying. A mournful howl burst forth from her lungs climbing into the night sky echoing among the trees in a sad tune. She felt the wind ripping through her fur as she darted between trees and over small bushes in her mad fury ignoring the returning howls of her pack calling her back. 

She made her way past the valley of boulders and past the small lake running south as hard and fast as she could till her legs gave up under her. Tumbling over herself as her inertia pushed her now limp body forward she whined as her head hit several rocks and she came to a stop in a pile of dead tree limbs. Laying motionless she shifted into her human form and sobbed softly. The tears felt strange and the feeling alien to her, she could not tell why she felt this way and it felt as if she was being taken over as she could not make herself stop. The feeling of loss of control making her panic her lungs now forgetting how to work as she clawed at her neck struggling to drag air into her screaming lungs. 

 Finally she dragged a lungful of air down her burning lungs. The air burned like fire on her oxygen deprived lungs as she began to pull in more air still panicking from her near suffocation. Eventually she began to breath normally tears no longer streaming down her face and a dull ache in her skull now calling her attention. Her face feeling raw and her eyes soar she curled into a ball and called upon sleep she would go home when she woke. 

When she woke the once dull pain in her skull was now a full on migraine. He head felt like it was being cleaved in two and every movement making it hard to not throw up. She felt like crap Shifting into her wolf form she gingerly stood up the pain still there but in this form made to handle ungodly amounts of pain and still function she felt she could make it home. Putting her small nose to the air she sniffed out yesterdays trail and followed it slowly but surly making her way back. 

The pain in her head only increased though making it hard even in her wolf form to walk every step felt jarring and a line of pain going strait to her brain in a searing fire making her whine. She had yet to make it a quarter of the way back when she collapsed and curled into herself she did not have the energy or the pain tolerance to go further.   Pulling her tail over her face she laid still as she willed sleep on again ignoring the fact it was not even mid day. 

Eric paced furiously across the grass watching the forest intently waiting for Lilly to return. He knew it was his fault but something told him he had to let her deal with it herself. He was not sure what made her upset but females were strange creatures often spurned by emotion and rarely understood by men. He though maybe she felt rejected by him but he knew that not to be the case, he would not force a relationship on someone who did not know the ramifications of the decision only for them to regret it later. Once mated they could never love another. 

He gave her all night but now that the sun had come back up her felt she should be back and every minuet that she did not come walking through the forest made his inner wolf go on edge. The pack kept their distance but they could feel the distress of their Alpha and Luna and hung back watching him with worried eyes. Last night they had heard the sad howling and had replied with their own mostly calling her back a pack hated it when their Alphas left. 

Alex approached Eric warily a stressed wolf could react like a cornered animal and kill indiscriminately. "Alpha?" Alex said softly baring his neck best to submit to an angry wolf strong enough to kill you. 

Eric snarled in reply ignoring the visible flinching of Alex his pack included. His fangs now replacing his human teeth and his eyes turning the deep black of his wolf. "Alpha" Alex said again softer this time still baring his neck. "We must look for her" Eric glared at his beta neck bared and looking down, a wolf would not hurt those who he lead without reason and his beta meant well. Huffing in reply he ignored the obvious breath of relief as his scouts and warriors stepped forth now shifting into their wolves. His Beta now shifting looked at him for directions. 

"Lets bring our Luna back" 

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