Life, I Guess

Epilogue

"I am so proud of you, honey!" Mom squeals as I come up to her with my diploma in my hand. Mom's head avoids being hit by my graduation cap, and I wrap my arms around her.

"There's my girl!" Dad paces towards me and I hug him, too. Jason and Calvin trail behind.

I did it. I graduated high school.

Four years of anxiety over assignments, friends, and family. My crazy obsession over grades wasn't for nothing though. I'm headed to Brown in the fall.

I look down at my leather diploma folder. Life is looking up all because of this piece of paper.

Paper. The paper!

The staff doesn't give us our real diploma until after the ceremony so we don't do anything stupid. Given my school's history of streaking midway through the Valedictorian's speech, their policy makes sense.

"Wait, hang on I have to get the actual diploma. I only have the folder!" I push through the crowds of families to get back behind the stage. "Excuse me!" I bump into a black graduation gown. "I'm sor-" I stop mid-apology and meet eyes with Devin.

"It's alright. Hey, um, congratulations." He stares at me awkwardly, as if to ask, "Do I say I miss you? Do we hug? What are we supposed to do?"

"You, too, Dev," I reply quietly. The confidence I had built over the past year is suddenly the size of a pea. The crowded football field is suddenly empty. The only two people here are me and the one who...

The one who what?

I was with for four months? Dragged me down? Convinced everyone he broke up with me?

I didn't need that. I took a deep breath, and walked behind the stage. Easy as that.

"Samantha, my dear! Congratulations!" Mrs. Goodwin exclaims as I make my way towards the actual diplomas. I run up to hug her.

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without your help, Mrs. Goodwin," I say. It took a few lunches to get over the initial shock of realizing I needed help, but eventually we had a breakthrough together.

"Oh, Samantha. You were always strong enough. We just had to find that strength together. Brown is certainly lucky to have you."

"Can we take a quick selfie?" I ask while pulling out my phone.

"I don't see why not." Mrs. Goodwin crouches down next to me and smiles as I extend my phone in front of us. "Aw, email that one to me, so I can hang it in my office."

"Sure thing. I'll see you in August before I leave, okay?" I wave goodbye.

"See ya, Samantha!" Mrs. Goodwin smiles and waves.

I walk back towards my family, but bump into Veronica and Will along the way.

"WE DID IT!" Veronica screams and leaps to hug me. I barely maintain my balance as she throws herself around me.

"Yes we did! Now get off of me." I playfully shove Veronica off. Will awkwardly holds his arms out, and I give him the world's largest bear hug. The three of us stand facing each other. What feels like minutes pass as we silently reminisce on our friendship.

Veronica takes a step forward to hug me again, gently this time. "I knew this day would come, but it's like it's all hitting me. I'm going to Monterey, you're going to Providence. That's opposite sides of the country."

"Hey, what about me?" Will asks.

"You're only in Seattle. Too close to bug me," Veronica groans. "But we're all going to be farther than we've ever been..." her voice trails off.

Tears brim my eyes. "I know."

"Sam, don't cry. Your mascara is too expensive for that," she laughs.

"And you make ugly faces when you cry," I say back.

"And males don't cry," states Will.

We stand there laughing and hugging until our parents come to us with flashing cameras. Eventually we put ourselves into a decent pose, thus starting the flurry of pictures in different combinations of family members and friends.

I look around at the people in black gowns, the teachers in their red robes, the parents fixing their student's hair, and the little siblings looking up to their idols.

The black gowns are starting their lives. The teachers survived another year. The parents feel as accomplished as their kids. The siblings, well...

The siblings are different.

They don't see the loads of books, tests, and drama that comes along with high school. They see the fancy dresses for prom, the too-cool-for-school friends that come over, the makeup, the cool clothes, and the Hollywood interpretations of a school day. Little do they know what they have to encounter.

I found myself. I made friends, I lost them. I formed an anxiety disorder, and managed it. I fell in love, and I learned what love actually is. I have forgiven. I have forgotten. I have survived.

Some people say it's easy and some say it's hard to roll with life's punches. To me, it's a day by day decision to be strong and just let it happen.

And that's life, I guess.