Finding Me

Chapter 31

I wake up to the incessant sound of honking cars. I groan as I open my eyes and roll over, realizing that the white covers I'm lying under aren't my own bed covers. It's then when I remember that I'm in New York City and that I have to go to trial today. I have to see my father.

I slowly sit up and see Emma sitting in the chair in front of the desk. I look around the hotel room and see my luggage in the small chair where I left it before collapsing in my hotel bed last night. I sigh and get out of bed, making enough noise to make Emma turn around and look at me. She smiles when she sees me and then turns back to whatever she's doing.

I sigh and go over to my suitcase to get some clothes out, my brush, and my makeup bag. Once I have everything I need, I go into the bathroom and start to get ready. I take my pajamas off, put on my underwear, and slip on my loose red blouse and blue jeans. I brush my hair and put it in a loose braid. I also put on a little makeup before leaving the bathroom.

I walk back out to the room as Emma is rising from her spot at the desk and getting some clothes out of her suitcase. I walk past her as she goes to the bathroom and put my pajamas, brush, and makeup bag inside my suitcase. I open the curtains and look out the window to see many cars in the streets below. It sounds as loud as I remember, but it also looks like how I remember-- busy.

"How'd you sleep?" Emma asks me from inside the bathroom.

"Pretty well. What about you?" I reply as I sit back down on my bed and unplug my phone.

"Not super great. I'm not used to going to sleep to such loud noise. Then, I had to get up early to do my devotional," she replies.

I just nod and don't respond as I lie back down on the bed. I stare up at the ceiling and focus on breathing as I realize that today is the day when I see my father again. Today is the day where I have to not let him inside my head. I have to resist the urge to go back to who I was. I need to do this for my mother.

I close my eyes and take a couple of deep breaths. I feel my tense shoulders relaxing, and I turn my thoughts to good thoughts. I block out the sounds of the city and focus on keeping myself from panicking. I take more deep breaths and feel my nerves calming down slightly.

"Maya? You okay?" Emma's voice asks.

I open my eyes and see her standing next to the bed with a worried expression. I sigh and close my eyes as I reply, "I think I will be."

"What's wrong?"

I take another deep breath. "I'm just getting a little nervous. I'll be alright. I just need to focus on positive thoughts."

Emma pats my shoulder comfortingly and tells me, "You don't have to do this. At any moment, we can book a flight back to Clearwater Bay, and you can just let Sam handle this."

I shake my head. "No. I'm going to do this."

Emma sighs and quietly replies, "All right. We need to leave right now if we want to grab something to eat before we go to the courthouse."

I nod and open my eyes. I rise from my spot on the bed. Emma picks up her purse that's sitting on her bed and walks to the door. I pick up my black cross body purse and follow her. We go down to the lobby, and she gets us a taxi once we walk outside. When I get inside the car, I take another deep breath and stare out the window.

The moment when I have to see my father again is getting closer, and I'm beginning to feel nervous and terrified. There's no telling what he'll look like, and I have no idea what Uncle Sam is going to think when he knows I'm there. Am I making the right choice? How did I ever think this was a good idea?