♔Afterwards: Falling For Aspen♔✔️

Chapter 22: An Emotional Mess

  ❤️America's Point of View❤️  

Thursday afternoon. Two weeks and three days since I've been been at the Palace. The day where I'm truly an emotional mess. The day where he had to confess and I finally had gotten over him. But no, he had to mess things up, again. To top things off, it's grey and rainy outside that matches the mood.

It all started this morning after breakfast. I was outside in the Palace Gardens, enjoying the rain and the look of flowers and leaves with water droplets. I didn't care if I ended up soaking wet today. Today was supposed to be a somewhat peaceful day...

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I asked Aspen yesterday after the meeting with Georgia and August if he knew Officer Feher and he said yes. I told him everything about the note and meeting then asked him if he could set up one with Officer Feher. He replied saying he'll try and that he'll tell me right away once he gets the information and a 'yes' from Alex.

Right now, I'm outside in the Palace Gardens. As I walk down the stone path, the rain starts falling down a bit harder, but I don't mind it much. I'm trying to feel relaxed. It's like ever since the announcement of Maxon choosing Kriss as his Princess and wife-to-be, I never truly had a chance to relax, by myself.

I lightly touch touch the beautiful plant in front of me. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the rain falling down like a pitter patter pattern. I breath in the somewhat earth and fresh scent of the slightly cool rain. I feel the cool water roll down my arms and face and smile to myself.

I start to hum a random melody as I look up into the grey clouded sky and hold my palm out to feel the water even closer. For once, I feel at peace. But, that was soon over.

My serene peace was shattered into pieces once I heard an oh so familiar voice call my name.

I tried to calm down a bit before I turned around and faced him.

I crossed my arms in distaste and scoffed, "What do you want Maxon?"

"Look," he started to say as he walked closer. He's only 6 feet away. "I know you're probably angry at me right now, but this may be the only chance I have to tell you before I marry Kriss."

"Should have said that a long long time ago." I mocked back. I was getting angry. I had to keep calm, but I don't know how much longer I could keep that up for.

"All I need is just five minutes." he pleaded.

I huffed and said, "Fine, but, why did you come out here? You could have waited inside or tell me whatever it is another time."

"Please do not get angry at me for what I'm about to say is painfully true." Maxon explained.

"Just go ahead and spit it out already!" I demanded.

He moved into closer proximity to me until we were only an arm's length apart. About two feet, so far, yet so close. He then put both hands on my shoulder. I was about to protest until he spoke first.

"I. Still. Love. You. America. Singer. I always have and always will be, no matter what." Maxon confessed. I felt like I've been hit hard in in the face. Anger really started to boil inside me along wiht confusion and sadness. I'm about to become one big emotional mess.

"Why?" was all I could manage to whisper while looking down at the stone pathway.

Maxon pleaded, "America, please look at me. It's just for a few minutes and all of this can be over with." He lifted my gaze up by grabbing my chin and pulling it up quickly, giving me no time to react.

Man, it's so aggravating when he does this to me. I almost succumbed to the pleasure, but I forcefully  pushed him away with the palm of my hands. I wiped my lips with my rain soaked hand.

"I'm in love with someone else now. You can't change that. You had your chance many times before." I said, my voice low and shaking from anger. I stared right at him, waiting for a response. He tried to hide the emotion that crept on his face, but his eyes told me everything.

"When will you ever forgive me? What happened to make you like this?" Maxon asked, voice rising out of anger. He tried to keep his composure, but it  didn't help.

"I don't know. I guess I need  time." I answered , already wanting to leave. The water felt colder as I stood there, my saturated hair dangling from my face, my makeup already smudging off.

"Time!?" Maxon shouted. "TIME!?" his voice grew in anger. "Your saying you need more time? I gave you time and space during the whole Selection process and now you say you need more!? America, I'm tired of waiting forever for you to respond. I've tried my best to be patient while I gave you space to think, but you still don't have a response to anything that I've said or asked to you during your stay!!!"

I looked down. I didn't know what to say. He's right. All this time, I've been doing what he just pointed out. I guess I was too worried about myself. I was always too worried. Sometimes, I can't help it. I guess that's part of who I am.

I started to cry. Eventually, the rain fell harder and my cries could not be audible in the loud noise of the rain. I ran past Maxon, not caring about brushing past his shoulder. I didn't look back. I just ran as fast as I could out of the once peaceful gardens and into my room.

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I flopped down on my bed, crying. Apparently, one of my maids, Anne was in there cleaning.

"Oh. What's wrong Lady America?" Anne asked, full of concern.

"C-can you h-help me g-get into n-new d-ry p-pajamas please?" I asked stuttering. She didn't ask any more questions and did what she was told. She helped me into dry new pajamas. I asked her to leave and she did so. I honestly don't care if I sleep through lunch, even dinner. I'm just an emotional mess, again.

Why? How? Why did all of this happen to me?

I cried myself to sleep as I heard the muffled sounds of the rain pouring down.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

The photo up top is supposed to show rain in a garden. Photo source: Google