Trying to be Dominantly Equal [BDSM] {SEQUAL book 2}

Chapter Nineteen: Nick

okay let me start off by saying YES its been a while i have so much work to do for class and wanting a 4.0 adds to my stress i just never have the time to update but i'm trying please bear with me.

Alone...

I feel like I'm all alone. My dark friend has also deserted me ashamed at what I've done. I know there are consequences to my actions but I just...

Who the fuck am I kidding?

I deserve this

And more...

I saw the signs and I kept going. I had no concern for the people it would affect. I felt like nothing could touch me and now I've been emotionally beaten with everything good taken from me. Once again my future is dull.

The creaking of my front door and the glimpse of light seeps into the dark prison causes me to groan and turn my head. Voices blend together with no distinction if not from the one I want to hear.

Each click of her heels makes my head beat with fury. I've had this in going headache the day she walked out. I can still remember my straggled cry as the door slammed shut. Everything was dark that day.

Slowly she kneels down to grasp my hand. "Jesus nick, what have you done" pulling my hand away I snort, starring down at the broken pieces of glass.

"What haven't I done?" I stare back up at her. Her brows furrow together and she presses her lips into a firm grim line. Her face reeks empathy but she can't even imagine how I feel. Liquor can only make you so numb. The inside of my house is just as dark as the outside.

Swallowing hard I push myself against the wall. I don't know how long I've been sitting here. Last night is as blurry as the others, but from the broken glass and bleeding hands I can tell I went in another drinking rage. I'm not sure if the alcohol or my depression leaves me to do these tings but I don't plan for them to stop. My antidote rather watch me suffer then cure me, because she's tried for so long to help me and all I did was fail her.

"I understand now" I whisper grazing my frontera across my dry lips.

"Understand?"

"Why you chose to lie about me pushing ally" her eyes widen and I watch as her throat sinks in with disbelief. Me and my mother don't talk and I don't think she planned on having this conversation as mother and son bonding time.

"I—"

"I use to think it was because you were an evil dumb minded bitch" I chuckle not feeling amused in the slightest. "But it's because you didn't want him to leave you" my voice rising to and ah ha moment "I've spent most of my life trying to get away from you but I realize no how alike we are. I did this to myself but yet I want to grieve my lost and blame everyone but me. I want to hold the darkness inside me accountable but he was long gone..."

"Nick you're not like me" she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I'm worse. There's no forgiving for this. There's no talking it out. She hates me and has every right to" she sinks down next to me wrapping her hands around me. And in that moment my soldiers are done fighting. I collapse against her letting tears race down my cheeks.

"Mom..." my voice small, my eyes sting with pain but nothing compares to my heart.

Her fingers rum through my hair cooing softly. Her scent is new but welcoming.

"Everyone makes mistakes Nicky, but not everyone is smart enough to try and correct it. I should have told your father the truth but I just couldn't face what could happen to me. You're a lot stronger than me. I knew that the day she died. Brooke loves you, she never denied that. Don't let her slip through your fingers so easily."