Trying to be Dominantly Equal [BDSM] {SEQUAL book 2}

Chapter Twenty One: I do part one

This chapter is extremely long because of the extremely long wait I'm also splitting it up into two parts

Ps: high key don't like this chapter but it's been to long FML

Nickolas Andrian Cartier died that day....

And a new nick was born. I remember how numb my fingertips felt as they pressed firmly against his gushing wound. My mind couldn't bear the thought of losing him. I just go him back, How could I possibly let him slip so easily. I can't tell how many hours I spent in the hospital watching him sleep. It was a cycle between coffee, cursing out paparazzi and trying to be strong for the both of us.

I've dealt with pain and hurt and betrayal , all coming from him but I just couldn't feel those anymore. They became distant memories because I knew what we had was stronger than all of that.

Everything about him was different and the slumber he was placed in, he looked peaceful. like his demons have been finally sent away. Mine were long gone. The fear of losing him for good was enough for them the disappear.
That day in the cemetery is something I'll never forget. It's imprinted itself into my mind like a perfect tattoo. Surprisingly it's not something I want to forget either, it helps me remember why we do this.

Fight for eachother.

Nick spent close to a month in the hospital and when he was finally released he was on close watch by me and a live in nurse practitioner, call me over protective but I needed him to be okay. He wasn't disabled but just ridiculously errant. The only time he seemed to return to his normal self was when I was helping him bathe.

It's the only skin contact we've had in four months. I'm not ready to jump into things and he's fine with that...

Well trying to be to be...

A small knock at my door brings me out of my writing. Turning my head I call softly for the person to come in.

"Your bags are all packed and waiting in the car ma'am" Jordan our personal security guard stands proudly by the door. I've grown quite fond of him. When me and Nick would have our fair share of arguments he would talk to me about his days as a pilot in the army.

I nod my head closing my book  holding it tightly to my chest while walking past him. My eye catches my gym bag thrown in the corner of the room and I sigh in disappointed. I haven't stopped boxing but I've taken a break. I feel like I need time to get back on the right track. I've been seeing Lang twice a week for advice and writing a daily journal helps a lot. He was more then relived to find out me and Nick worked out. But he only admitted that after his time of being my shrink was up.

Tucking my hair behind my ears I turn to face one of hallway mirrors. My hair has grown past my butt and it's wild curls flourish happily. My eyes roam over my spaghetti strapped dress down to my left hand. The wedding ring I once launched at Nick sits happily on my finger. He offered to buy me a complete new one but I love this ring. Not only because I picked it myself but it holds a lot a memory behind it. Our second wedding was small and intimate. I couldn't handled the crowd and the people who already judge my active life.

Hasn't been that active in the downstairs department

My inner goddess and subconscious are one of the same. She is tired of sun bathing and small affection. She wants sex and so do I