"Wake up, sleepyhead!"
I groaned and pulled the toasty covers over my head. I couldn't remember where I was, or why my eyes were so puffy for a moment, but Dan's voice was comforting and familiar until the events of the previous night came rushing back.
"Don't you want any breakfast? Louise bought bagels."
"Not hungry," I said shortly, and it was true. I'd never felt less like eating in my life. Heartbreak makes food taste like cardboard.
I heard Dan whistle. "Wow, are you sick? I've never heard you turn down breakfast food."
"My stomach hurts," and that was also true.
"Oh." Dan paused. "I'm sorry, Phil. Do you want me to stay?"
I never wanted to see him again and at the same time he was all I wanted to see.
"No, go have breakfast with Gabrielle." That came out bitchier than I'd intended, and I internally winced, hoping Dan wouldn't pick up on my obvious jealousy.
"Er, alright." I felt his hand come down on my shoulder, heavy and awkward and too painful but so soothing. "Hope you feel better."
I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to go back to sleep.
...
"Phil!"
I looked up. "What?"
Louise rolled her eyes. "You've just been reading in bed for the whole day. Are you actually sick?" She took the book out of my hands. "Come on, Phil. Something's wrong. I may be a little thick sometimes, but even I can sense that something's off."
I groaned, running my fingers through my hair, tangles pulling painfully at my scalp.
"Lou..."
"Philip. I cannot bear to watch you wallow this pathetically." She scooted closer to me, putting her warm hand on mine and looking into my eyes, a pitying expression on her face. "You're in love."
I slumped back. "You guessed it."
"Ha!" Louise let go of me and clapped her hands together with a delighted expression. "I knew it! I knew—oh, Phil, I'm sorry."
A laugh bubbled in me, strangely enough. "It's okay. I need to get over him, anyway."
"Is it..." Louise hesitated, her face suddenly dropping. "Is it Dan?"
My silence was all the confirmation she needed.
"Oh no."
I smiled bitterly. "Yeah."
"No, you don't understand, I've messed everything up," she said loudly, eyes widening in alarm.
"What? What do you mean? Louise!" I shouted.
Louise twisted her hands together. "Don't be mad at me, okay?"
I nodded, a sick feeling in my stomach.
"The reason I invited Gabrielle on this trip was to set her up with Dan! The poor thing's been quite lonely and withdrawn ever since her horrible ex-boyfriend, Oscar, broke her heart. I thought they'd be good together! And it--fuck, turns out that you're in love with him...Oh, God, why am I
so stupid?"
The news didn't hit me as hard as she was expecting it to.
"It's all right, Louise. Dan doesn't like me back, anyway, and he and Gabrielle seem to be hitting it off...so I'll get over him."
Louise sniffled, looking absolutely heartbroken and guilty. I wanted to tell her not to beat herself up, but it seemed like a lost cause.
"And another thing," I paused. "Chris is in love with PJ."
"Oh my God!"
...
I was determined to stay in bed for the rest of the day.
"Phil, we got pizza for dinner," Dan wheedled, head poking into the room from behind the door.
I managed a weak smile in his direction. "I'm all right."
"C'mon." Dan crossed the room and sat down on my bed. "Spill, Phil." He laughed at his unintentional rhyme, then grew serious again. "I'm starting to get worried."
"Dork." I made a weak stab at our usual playful teasing. "I'm fine. Just under the weather."
He sighed, a heavy, disappointed sound. "Don't tell me the truth. Okay." His usually bright brown eyes dimmed the slightest bit.
"Dan..."
He got up and left without saying a word. My throat grew tight with shame and guilt, and I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears that pricked at the corners.
"Damn it," I whispered. "Damn it."
...
Dan came back in my room after dinner.
"I brought you a slice, Phil," he said quietly, putting the plate down on the floor next to my bed.
I sat up, pushing the blankets off of me and avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry."
Dan nodded, looking down. "It's all right. I shouldn't have pushed you. You deserve your space."
I motioned for him to come sit next to me. He did, a bit hesitantly.
"I just—" He broke off.
"What?"
Dan bit his lip. "I don't like seeing you sad."
I exhaled, finally meeting his eyes. We were sitting extremely close to one another. "Who said I was sad?"
Dan was quiet for a moment. "I just knew." He awkwardly patted me on the back. I could feel the heat from his hand through my shirt.
"Thanks, Dan."
He flashed me a smile, a genuine, lovely smile that crinkled his eyes and transformed his face into something glad.
"Of course, Phil. I'm your best friend."
I loved him.
