Effort At Its Finest (Brother's Bestfriend)

When They Know Who You Are

In my truck, we ate. It was quiet. I heard her chewing. I heard her humming. I heard her phone ring, and she answered it. "Hey," She said, and I watched the automatic smile she had form simple words, even though it was painful to hear.

On the other end I heard a muffled british accent. "Yeah, I'm just eating lunch." She said casually, sipping her sweet tea.

Then she sighed. "Are you at a stripclub?"

I tried to focus more on Jared, and was barely able to make out what he was saying. "Babe- I'm with Xavier. He's introducing me to a few people-" There was lots of clinging and screaming and music, there was laughter too and I was sure I heard Xavier's voice. "Wow, Conrad knows a lot of these strippers." I heard Jared say and I tried not to shift in my seat, and didn't want her to know I heard their conversation.

That asshole. I only knew a few, and it's not like I ever went to stripclubs. I didn't like them, they were trashy, and I've probably happened to go home with a few women from a club or bar or something. And it just so happens to be that one is a stripper. It's not like I'd ever see them again, so it didn't matter to me.

"Why'd you call, Jay?" Was she really not going to get mad at him for going to a stripclub? She said it like it happens all the time. Like when her fiancé left with her truck and she just sighed that sigh and had that look on her face.

"I'll see you later... Alright... I love you too." When she hung up she looked at me. "Uh, thanks for the burger."

"You're welcome."

More silence. And I thought over what I could say to break it, but the bitch beat me to it once again. "So Jared said you work at a car repair shop?"

I nodded while chewing.

"What happened to the other job? If it's okay to ask."

"You mean why don't I illegally work for a bidding gang and hand out money only to take half of it?"

The calmness of her face never changed. "What changed?" She finally asked.

"I did."

I felt her stare at me for a while, and I took a large bite out of my burger just so I wouldn't have to be the one to talk. "Okay." It was simple, the way she said it. Simple, because she was unpredictable. I didn't know what to expect from her, simple or complex, quiet or jumpily happy.

I liked to predict what would happen next, because I knew I'd get it wrong everytime.

"Conrad?" She asked my name sweetly, but at the same time it held caution. It was perfect when her lips slowed to my name. The way she said it made me seem so much better than I was.

I grunted a reply, still trying to finish my food.

"Why wouldn't the world need you?"

So she's still hung up on that.

I finally swallowed what I could and looked at her. "Maybe I don't need the world."

"Why do you want to die?" She asked and her eyes were on me calmly. I felt like I was talking to Dr. Ryat; she was easy to talk to, that's what made it so hard.

"I just do." I had to say. There was just too much to explain to her. I hated being around to begin with.

When I looked at Macy again she looked like she was trying to solve the worlds most complicated problem. She probably was, too. I couldn't even solve myself.

"It's good you stopped doing drugs." She told me out of nowhere.

I nodded. "I know."

She still had that look on her face. "What are you thinking?" I found myself asking.