Her fragile heart

5 - Who said chivalry is dead?

*My momma raised me to be classy, not flashy*

After the Cullen house had finally calmed down over Emmy's arrival, things started to get into routine. Slowly but surely we calmed down and everyone except for Rosalie and Emmett had to go back to school.

It just so happens to be our first day back today which is unfortunate but we have to keep up our appearances.

I'm wearing boyfriend jeans and an off the shoulder jumper in baby blue. As usual I'm driving with Edward in shotgun, when I arrive into the school Edward gets out the car and then opens my door. He holds my hand as we walk in but has to leave me at the lockers because his class is on the other side of the school. I open my locker but it gets slammed shut by a manicured hand.

"What do you want Tanya?" I ask with a sigh.

"Why were you off school so long?" she asks with a sneer

"I think you know why." I reply.

"You got married right? - So your pregnant?"

She knows full well that I'm not.

"I mean why else would he marry you" she says in disgust.

She thinks she's getting to me but she's not. I shrug my shoulders,

"Because I'm not you" I reply in the same manner.

She gasps loudly.

"At least my sisters aren't sluts"

Thats it folks you all saw how I tried to take the high road right?

I pretend to punch her and then I inflict pain on her so it doesn't look like I'm doing nothing.

''Owwww" she screeches.

"Darling, at least my momma raised me to be classy."

"And don't ever, ever speak about my family like that." I say before I strut off.

"There not even your family." She screeches after me.

I just inflict pain again as I continue walking away.

It takes me a while to calm down but I go to class anyway.

With no drama the rest of the day is over before I know it.

When Edward meets me we walk to the car and for once I allow Edward to drive so that I can vent.

"I can't believe her. I mean I'd ignore her if she was only talking about me but seriously what part of that conversation was about Rose? I mean she is such a twisted b*tch and yet her sisters are so nice. And then she was like-"

Edward abruptly cuts me off by giving me a kiss.

"come on I have the perfect place for you to calm down"

He ended up taking me to the meadow

We sat and somehow I was instantly calmed.

"How did you know?" I whisper

" I know everything, love"

I close my eyes and rest my head against his chest. I just think about how lucky I am and Edward gasps beside me.

"What's wrong?" I ask concerned.

"I heard your thoughts"

I feel like blushing that's embarrassing.

"No, it's not, I love that I can hear your thoughts they're beautiful."

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Ever since Edward heard my thoughts I've been avoiding him. It's not that I'm embarrassed he can hear them it's just I always thought what you're thinking should be private. You see, I never told anyone about the whole truth about what happened when I left. I never told anyone about Maria's abuse when I did something wrong. I know that she's dead and she's never coming back but she is still alive in my memories. I've tried everything to forget but I can't. It's not that I have anything to hide but everything is still raw in my imagination. Guilt is always eating me up, for several reasons. Mostly because I killed millions of vampires and because I can't even give my husband a child. I wish I could take back asking to be a vampire when I was human because given the chance I would love to have grown old. Its like I'm frozen in time just getting colder. I know that fate has a funny way of dealing with things and that if I wasn't a vampire then I wouldn't have had the chance to be with Edward again. But I'm selfish, I want a child, I want to be a grandparent and I want reality. I will always love him. But I'm afraid he will change his mind after seeing how selfish I am. But what I want is crazy, it's unrealistic and a dream. I'd like to say I'm okay but I'm not, I breaking at the seams, I'm strong enough to let it show but one of these days the dam will open, I just need someone to see it.

I'm broken from my thoughts by a knock on my door.

I allow whoever it is in and come face to face with Edward. He doesn't say anything but he comes and wraps his arm around my waist and buries his face in my neck. It seems to calm him down and when he looks up his eyes hold grief. He sits me on our bed and starts talking, I rest my head on his chest as normal.

"I don't tell you often enough but Bella you are beautiful. You need to stop living in the past, they were all murderers , you've never taken an innocent life, baby. As for children I would love for us to have them but we have to accept that at least for now we can't. I know that hurts, I know it's hard but it's hard on me too, If we are going to get through this we need to so it together. I know Maria hurt you, in ways I can't imagine. But you are strong. Look at me, love, we're the only ones here, I'm not going to judge you, you are being too strong and it will destroy you. It's all right to cry sometimes."

I clung onto Edward and sobbed wishing I could still cry. He's the only person who can break down my walls and still make me feel safe. He's my lifeline. He's my everything.

"But everybody seems to hate me now... and I kind of hate me too."

"Stop putting yourself down. We always knew this was going to be hard, right? You jump, I jump remember, wherever you go I will be by your side, through the haters and the bad times, I'll be here, remember that." He soothes.

"I just need you to know that I love you with every inch of my un-beating heart. To me it's hard to explain just how I feel. You make me feel safe and I know life isn't perfect but when I'm with you it begins to feel like it is. I'm not perfect, I have flaws you have flaws. I fell for your perfection but when I saw that you were imperfect I fell a lot harder. I'm in love with you. Okay? I know I haven't got plenty to give but I can give you my time, I mean you've already got my heart." I whisper.

"I love you."

"Me too, more than you could ever imagine."

I curl into him and allow us both to sleep. It's something I've not done since I was a human and I feel like it's something I've needed. Falling asleep in Edwards arms...

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