thanatophobia // joshler [✓]

cold sheets

the drive back was tense. i sat on the left side of the car, i was too nervous to sit next to dallon so brendon is in the middle of us.

when we made it back, patrick took dallon to check up on him. pete, ryan, and brendon went to their rooms, so it just left me and tyler.

he refused to make eye contact with me but he wasn't the quickest to walk away from me either. i decided i had to say something, there wasn't much i could do but i had to do something.

"it wasn't his fault." i said blankly as tyler was walking away.

he stopped, and without turning around he said,

"don't you think i know that?" in a low voice.

tyler then walked into his room, slamming the door hard. i didn't know how to feel.

guilt was still apparent but now i was confused. if he knew it want his fault why didn't he just do it to me instead?

with these thoughts lingering through my mind i went into what was supposed to be my room and i shut the door. i took off the skeleton suit and put on my clothes from before.

the room was dark and it had an eerie feeling to it. chills when up and down my arms as the room got strangely cold.

i tried not to dwell on this too much as i crawled onto the bed which was just as cold. i couldn't seem to get warm as my skin was already cold and the frigid sheets weren't doing any good.

i took a deep breath and closed my eyes slowly to try and get some sleep. so many thoughts were in my head. i couldn't help but remember what happened just a mere few hours ago.

my whole family was killed right in front of me and i was kept alive. they didn't deserve it. i should have been the one killed. not jordan. not abigail. not ashley. not my dad. not my mom.

it should have been me with my corpses laid out on he side of the road. but it wasn't.

and i'll never know why.