thanatophobia // joshler [✓]

same boat

once they were far enough away to the point where we couldn't hear the motor anymore. brendon still remained on the ground, but he didn't make a single sound.

pete, patrick, and tyler went over to him right away, mel and i fell a bit behind since i had to pick her up and carry her.

when we made it over to him, there was blood trickling from his mouth a forming but visible bruise on his face. his eyes were closed and he looked almost lifeless, but we knew he was still alive.

"b, you okay?" pete asked, bending a knee to get closer to brendon who was still laying on the ground. brendon was still breathing and conscious, but he didn't answer petes question.

a moment of silence went by until brendon finally spoke up,
"why didn't you let him finish me off?" he spoke with such anger but calmness in his voice. his eyes were still closed and there were still some blood spots in his mouth.

we all remained quiet, just exchanging looks from what brendon said. what kind of question is that? and what kind of answer would you give?

"we wouldn't let you die bren--"
"but you let ryan die." he cut off patrick.

"we didn't let him die, there was no way to save him." tyler sternly states.
brendon stands up and with his bruised cheek and bloody mouth he looks at tyler,

"is that what you told yourself when jenna died?"

"leave her out of this." tyler spat.
"why should i? you out of everyone should know how it feels, but you still act like she didn't mean shit to you when she died." brendon contradicted.

"who says i didn't give a shit about her?! she meant everything to me and i was the one who got her killed. i never got to hold her hand or say goodbye. i was the one who watched the life drain from her face. and you wouldn't know what that feels like. so stop being dramatic because you got to see ryan before he died." tyler snapped at brendon.

"look we've all lost people, so instead of arguing about who's the most hurt, why don't we keep it together and try to prevent more people from dying?" pete spoke up, tyler and brendon shut up.

"what do you suggest we do?" mel questioned.
"maybe set up a smaller camp with whatever supples we have right now. then we can relax, think of a game plan, and sleep the stress of today off." pete explained.

the others silently agreed as we kept waking to further find a better spot to set up camp. this wasn't going to be easy considering we're a smaller group with members who have tension against each other. but i think somehow, this could work.

__________

it was now nightfall and we decided to set up camp in a dark alley way. pete managed to light a tiny fire with twigs, stones, and matches. but the worse part was yet to come, as had little to no food.

not everyone can survive on half a candy bar, but it was all we had and that's what we had to work with. pete said he was willing to go back to our old hideout to get the stash of food that ryan hid in case of emergencies, and man was this an emergency.

once the fire went out, everyone except for mel and patrick agreed it was the best idea for all of us to sleep in different places incase mcr came back.

i agreed and took my stuff and walked a little ways away from the group, using my sweater as a pillow on the hard concrete. i saw mel just a few feet away from me, crawling towards her sleeping spot and i saw the others walk away from us.

you would think it would be hard to fall asleep on concrete with no warm and your pillow being held together by its rough and cold metal zipper. but once i got a bit comfortable, i was out like a light. and i didn't hear anything else since.