Spencer Reid- Dilaudid

Chapter Nine

JJ's POV
We board the plane in silence and take a seat next to one another, except Reid he doesn't sit anywhere near us. I glance at my team and point to Reid but they just shrug their shoulders, not caring, or avoiding him.

"Hey spence" I say slipping in the seat next to him
"Jay Jay" he smiles weakly almost as if he forced it.

"You alright?" I ask with concern

"I just couldn't go down there.. If I would have just went down there, and helped her maybe she would still be alive" he says avoiding eye contact with me.

"Spence, you can't do that to yourself okay, nobody here blames you." I mention

"You know when you were taken by Tobias, I thought.. it was all my fault, a part of me still does. I thought you were never coming back.. I would have done anything to trade places with you." I add as my eyes begin to water  remembering that horrible week without our genius.

"Jay Jay, I don't blame you for that. That was all my fault." he says finally looking at me

"Thank you Spence, I know it's tough but sadly we can't save everybody no matter how hard we try. Not everyone is a good person."

"Thank you" he says letting go of my hand I didn't even noticed he was holding to look back out the window

"Get some sleep" I call heading back to my original seat. I see Reid get up and head to the bathroom. I walk back to my seat and the team looks at me wanting to know what happened. 

"He thinks we blame him" I mention receiving puzzled looks "For Kelly" I add again so they aren't confused anymore.

"It wasn't his fault though. I mean even if he did go down there he could have been shot. We don't know what Lucas would have done." Emily replies

"Poor Reid" Garcia says sadly before Spencer returns out of the bathroom. I glance up getting a good look at him, noticing the red around his eyes, the pale in his face, and the way his favorite brown sweater now hangs loosely on his body.
He's broken