I Thought You Were Different: Part 3

Unlocked

I know how to unlock that brain of yours, and I will. Right at the very moment that I take away everything that you used to love so you can watch it all die.

The sound of your commander's voice was echoing in your mind as your hand raised towards Tony. You were doing what you were told, so why was he threatening you? It was a warning that he had also given once before you were transitioned, but maybe it wasn't a warning at all. Maybe this was the plan all along, to unlock your mind at this exact moment so you could really watch; so you could really feel it and suffer the pain that he thought you deserved.

Now his voice wasn't an echo of a memory, but a real sound coming through your comm with a plain tone and intonation that you immediately recognized but were powerless to stop. Much the same way that Bucky had been turned into the soldier with his trigger words, you were to be released with yours, having been chosen carefully to mean something to you and to draw you out.

"Inseparable" You had always believed that this was you and Steve, inseparable through any situation, always connected and always finding each other despite any obstacles. But this time, your separation was a jagged fracture between you that may never heal properly. You had always thought this was you and Steve; but in reality, the word belonged to you and Tony. No one had stood by you like he had, unwavering in his commitment to you, no matter how rocky the years together had been. Even now, here he was, ready to give his last breath if it meant bringing you home. Here he was, standing on the other end of your weapon, and he still had love in his eyes.

"Bliss" It had been a part of your life so many times, so many of them because of Tony, because of Steve, times with your kids, and just in little moments during the most ordinary days to remind you of the gifts you had been given. It was a feeling that you wouldn't recognize now if it came again.

"Again" There's always something. Always one more thing. Always a disruption trying to take away the things you loved. It was why you never slept too deeply anymore, and why you had given yourself up to Hydra now. So it would just stop.

"Acceptance" You were a Stark. A real Stark, as it had turned out, and it was all that you had ever wanted. But you were also created by Hydra, and those two identities were incompatible like none other. But at the same time, you couldn't accept one without the other.

"Three" No. You won't think about them like this.

"Webs" Stark and Hydra, Rogers and Hydra, Hydra and SHIELD, Rogers and Stark, Stark and SHIELD, the list went on and on. Everything in your life was tangled and twisted into each other, in ways that you didn't even recognize yet. The definition of yourself was muddled and lost, tied up in the webs that confined you here, even as your former team was desperately trying to free you.

"Truth" Truth is a lie. The two had become so intertwined now that the lines between them blurred until they were the same.

"Awakening" When your eyes opened this morning, you were this person. You were a soldier for a cause that was never yours; you were a soldier in a regime that you had fought for years. You had become the enemy, just as you were told that you were born to become, and the suit fit you unnervingly well.

"Monsters" You are a monster. You will never be anything else now. How could you be?

"Stark" Tony. Dad. The one man who would never hurt you. But now you had hurt him, and he wasn't moving.

"Dad!" you screamed out as your mind became your own again, throwing your gun to the ground and breaking into a sprint towards him. "No, no, no, Dad, come on!" You dropped to your knees at his side, fighting away the hands that were trying to grab you to keep you back. Ripping his shirt open so you could see where your bullet had struck him, you couldn't stop the river of tears streaming down your face as you struggled to maintain your composure. Your hands were pressed firmly against the wound, trying to stop the bleeding, but it was merely bubbling up between your fingers despite your efforts, and you could see him leaving you.