I Thought You Were Different: Part 3

BARF

"So BARF isn't just a clever acronym..." you hiccupped, your head hanging precariously over the toilet as Tony sat by helplessly, "...as soon...as I do this...I'm gonna kick your ass..."

"In my defense, I said it was an acronym. I never said anything about it being a clever one."

Your eyes were clamped shut tightly to avoid the vertigo that washed over you each time they were opened, and when the moment came when you didn't feel the immediate need to vomit, you leaned back against the wall just to hold yourself upright. You had taken the device's glasses off nearly an hour ago now, but the sensation wouldn't abate and Tony couldn't do anything for you other than watch and work on being overridden with guilt.

"I'm sorry," he offered quietly, "I swear, I never had this happen when I was building it. I would never have let you try if I'd known." He stood and grabbed a washcloth, turning on the cold water to saturate it, wringing out the excess before kneeling down to press the cool material to your forehead, giving you a moment of blissful relief as a few drops ran down your cheeks.

"It's okay," you sighed, "I know you didn't mean for this to happen. But it's still better than what T'Challa had planned for us. There's no way he's putting us into deep freeze. You know how I hate to be cold."

"Yet you married Capsicle."

"Touché."

"To let him off the hook a bit, he didn't know that I had this in the works. He thought that cryo would be the safest option until we could figure out what to do." When you jolted up and hurried to hang your head over the bowl again, this time just barely making it, Tony grimaced and shook his head with a groan, "although he might have a point. This isn't working, sweetheart."

"It will."

"You're just as stubborn as your son, you know that? No question at all where he gets it from."

"And I get it from where, exactly?" you laughed weakly, leaning back again. "He's got your name for a reason, Dad."

"I know, that kid's a genius!"

"Yeah," you scoffed with a heavy sarcasm, "that's what I meant."

~~~

Steve and Bucky had taken their share of turns using Tony's invention and didn't have the same visceral reaction that you had, but they weren't without their own aftereffects that they had to suffer through. A few mood swings and frustrated outbursts threatened to sideline them for a bit, but they pushed through. Trying to block the parts of your brains that held the memory of your Hydra programming proved to be more difficult than Tony had realized, but none of you were about to give up. After weeks of working with the device, when the moment had come to see if there had been any progress, it became quickly obvious to everyone that there was only one terrifying way to find out.

"Один" (One)

Tony watched anxiously, chewing on his thumbnail as Natasha recited the trigger words; the team stood outside of the detention cells that held the three of you, each of you in your own room, with Rhodey, Thor, and Bruce ready to act if this didn't work and you needed to be restrained.

"грузовой вагон" (freight car)

The group held a collective breath and remained silent, waiting and watching for a sign that any of you had changed. You were more focused on listening for Steve than you were on yourself, but when the realization struck that you were still aware and felt like nothing had changed, your hopes began to surge that BARF had worked. Looking to each member of the team, you didn't feel any animosity or urge to attack them as you would have if the trigger had taken effect.