❞ are you brooke maddox, because i'll have you screaming my name tonight. ❞
❞ tom that was the worst joke i've heard my entire nineteen years of living. ❞
IN WHICH CARLSON EVANS AND THOMAS HOLLAND MEET THROUGH HER BROTHER.
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Hey guys. The title makes this seem kind of serious. It both is and isn't. Nothing with this book or my other books is changing, it's basically just a life update. Two weeks ago I was the happiest person on Earth, and I feel like a shitty person for complaining because I got to meet someone I love with all my heart. But, this is something I can't help. I share most personal things with you, because I feel as if you will listen and understand.
I went to see a therapist last Thursday, and she officially diagnosed me with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Somehow knowing I truly have all those things makes it harder to deal with, because the reality is that I have to. I can't shut down, as much as I want to, because I still have a life to live. School is hard, being home is hard, everything is just shitty.
I never thought I'd miss the days from elementary school, but I'd give anything to be as happy as I was then. I miss my friends, I miss how my family used to be. I miss having a home that actually feels like home. I've cried more the past two weeks than I think I ever have, and I'm so tired of crying.
But this book and my other stories give me a break. Even if only for a fleeting moment, when I write about Chandler or Carlson, or when I'm taking requests on my imagine book, I'm happy. I read your comments and they make me smile, and I appreciate you more than you know. Which is why I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I haven't updated or given good content in awhile, and I wish I had a reason but I don't. I have free time, and I should update a lot more than I do, but sometimes I just feel like laying in bed and sleeping. Most of the time that's how I feel, actually.
In fact, most days I come home and fall asleep for 3-4 hours. But that's not the point; the point is, I'm going to try harder to update and make the updates good, because that's what you all deserve. Thank you so much for reading and understanding. And if you read all the way up to this point, damn, I really appreciate you.
You all are like my family, and you mean more to me than you know. Sometimes it's the only thing that gets me through the day. I love you guys. So much. The gif kinda represents my relationship with you guys, because it's strong and loving. Once again, thank you.
