Kiss the Girl: A Chris Evans Fanfiction

3.

By mid April things had started getting on top of me again. My anxiety was out the window and I just felt completely exhausted. I had taken on all three of my teaching obligations at once so that I could have a nine month period where I could focus solely on research and get some papers out, and also have time free to go visit Chris while he was filming Avengers and doing his press stuff for Captain America.

I'd failed to remember how stressful just teaching two classes was. It felt like my whole life was just teaching. Writing up lecture preparation, creating assignments, writing exam questions. Answering emails. Oh my god, answering emails. I was always answering emails.

I'd always said that when I lectured that I'd answer student's questions properly, even if they were completely trivial and stupid. Previously I always had. But when you received fifty emails a day, all long and rambling things 'Dear Professor Stephens, I have just begun studying biology and I was wondering ...' blah, blah, blah for four more paragraphs just to ask what the required reading was. I just started answering 'check syllabus' to ninety percent of the questions.

On top of the class load I still had to keep going out to Joshua Tree to check on things. One day I got a call from a ranger saying three of my coyotes had been shot and brought in because of the tracking collars on them that said to. I burst into tears and had to go to class and teach while I'd obviously just been crying.

This of course meant it was a perfect time to lock in the details of the wedding. I mean, we needed to do it, we needed to be married for green card reasons in a little over a eighteen months. Wedding venues book up. We had to set something in stone. I hadn't had a lot of time to do much research on venues in Australia, but I had found something that seemed perfect. I was excited to share it with Chris. We sat at the kitchen table. I had my laptop open and the browser full of tabs with photos and information about all the things I was excited about.

"So, this is Taronga Zoo right? I know, it's quite public, and we want to keep it away from that, but they're super set up for celebrity stuff. They are like number one default stop for all celebrities." I explained. "But look at this." I opened up a photo of the view from the bird show stage. It looked out over Sydney Harbour, you could see the city, the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Opera House. It was just stunning. "They let you set up weddings there, it's closed off with seating, so no unwanted prying eyes. And then afterwards we could hire a boat for the reception." I clicked over to another tab about a cruise ship. "It doesn't need to be this one, but this one can cater up to 500 people. I know it sounds really expensive, but it actually isn't too bad. And it would mean complete privacy, no one can come sneak in, we'll be in the middle of the harbour. The boat can pick us up at the docks at the zoo too. So it would work out really well. I also really like this because of the animal thing. It's a zoo, I'm a zoologist."

Chris sighed. "It looks really nice, Em. But how would we organise it from here?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you see, there are these people called wedding planners. It's their job ..."

"I think the sarcasm is a little unnecessary." Chris cut in. "I'm also really stuck on the whole getting all our friends and family to travel internationally."

"All your friends and family you mean." I snarked.

"Emily, sarcasm off please? I'm not trying to fight with you. I just want you to see things from my perspective." He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Gaby is here too, so you'd be asking your best friend and who I assume will also be your maid-of-honour to travel internationally."

"She's moving to England, she's going to have to travel internationally no-matter what if she's going to come. I'll happily pay for her to do that, so she can be there, but so far ALL my friends and family, who I never get to see will have to travel internationally to be at my wedding if we have it in Boston. Where as all your friends and family who you always see can just show up."

"Look. Let me just show you the place I think we should have it. It's really nice, and I think you'll like it." Chris said, pushing over the pamphlets he had in front of him. I took them and started flicking through.

It was for a place called Harrington Farm. It did look really pretty. There was forest, and a beautiful ball room. Very rustic and outdoorsy feeling. Very Chris. Very, very Chris. Not particularly me though. It was just so traditional wedding venue. I wanted something different. "It's an hour and a half outside the city, and secluded. We can relax there. That's what we both want isn't it?" He explained.

He did have a point there. We still didn't know what was going to happen after Cap was released and given the dates of our wedding would be around September of 2012 depending on Avenger's release dates, who knew what kind of media circus Chris' wedding could potentially attract. He was marrying a nobody, so even if he became a super hot completely in demand star, it was never going to be as interesting as if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married; if we got married in Australia, that would be news for Australia. Paparazzi would want to try and get photos of it. Even in a place like Taronga where they knew how to keep the paps out, there was no guarantee that we'd be private. Getting married in Boston would be less newsworthy and out on a farm, it would be safe.

I just wish he could see why I wanted it to be in Australia. I know he was closer to his family than I was to mine. But I had friends there who I loved like family and I had chosen a life here with him over one that meant I could return home to them. I wanted them to be there to see me off. If I get married in Boston, I couldn't be sure any would be able to make it. I wanted Amelia to be a bridesmaid like I had been her bridesmaid. I know Chris would pay to fly her to Boston to make that a reality, but it would be easier if he didn't have to.

I was just so exhausted though. Exhausted about this. Exhausted about work. Exhausted about everything. We had already fought about the destination of this wedding twice now. I couldn't do it any more. I felt like I was going to cry if I had to even think about it any more. I just wanted the whole thing to be over with. Get on a plane to Vegas right this second and marry him and then we'd be married and we could focus on the being married part. That was the most important thing to me anyway. I wanted us to be married, so I didn't have to worry that I'd be sent out of the country when my work visa ran out and we'd be separated. I wanted us to start a family together. Buy a home that was our home and not his home. Have children together. God, I wanted him to be a father like I'd never wanted anything in the world.

I looked over to him. He looked so excited. He really wanted this. His eyes were just lit up.

"Okay." I sighed.

"Okay? Really? We can do the wedding in Boston?" He slipped forward out of his chair so he was kneeling in front of me. He took my left hand in his and ran his thumb over my engagement ring, his right hand he used to cup my cheek.

"Yes, wherever you want. I just want to be married to you. I don't want to argue with you about where it happens. It doesn't matter. If you want it to be at Harrington Farm, that's fine."

He looked sad all of a sudden. "I don't want you to say yes because you're giving up."

I groaned and rolled my eyes again. How can we still be talking about it after I agreed? "One of us has to compromise. I'm compromising. We're getting married. Does it really matter where? I just want us to be married Chris. I want to be your wife. I want to be the mother of your children. That's what I want. If I could have my way, we'd get married in Sydney so I could say goodbye to my friends. But then you'd be the one compromising. Someone has to. " I leaned forward and rested my forehead on his. "I just feel so tired. I can't fight any more. It doesn't matter. I want to move on to picking dresses, and cake flavours, and underwear."

"I love you, Em." Chris sighed.

"I know. I love you too." I kissed him, and he pulled me down into him, so we were now both on the floor. I was perched, sitting on his knee and his lips caressed mine slowly, softly. I wanted to sink into him, to disappear and just be like this together forever and to not have to worry about anything else.

Gaby stepped through the kitchen door. "Oh my god! You guys are the worst!" She cried.