Our Life Together

Kids...

"Mom!"  I hear one of the boys yell "Mom!  Where are you?!?  It's important!"

"What?" I sigh putting down my book "If you aren't half dead it can't be too important."

"Can I go outside?" Liam runs into the living room "Brayden and James are waiting for me."

"Sure, just be back by 7:30.  It's gonna get dark."

"But, mom!"  He complains "That's like an hour!"

"It's 2 hours, you'll have plenty of time."  I pick my book back up "Leave now before you have no time."

He leaves and I go right back to reading.  Brad should be home any minute, and I know this quiet will end the second he walks in the door.  I finish a few chapters of the book before I hear the back door open.

"Hey,"  He walks in to kiss me "Why's it so quiet."

"Liam is outside, the other boys are watching a movie and Liv supposedly sleeping."  I drag out the last part "Every few minutes I hear noises through the monitor and then she gets quiet again."

"Sounds like she's not tired."  He sits next to me "What are you reading?  Some dumb parenting book?"

"No."  I hold it up for him to see.

"Oh, so just a dumb romance novel you don't need to read." He glances through it quickly "I'm much better than this guy.  This is crap."

"Yes, because you're sooooo much better."  I exaggerate "Leaving me with 4 kids and messes all over is so romantic.  Flowers and a dinner aren't better than that at all."

"Well when you say it like that it makes me sound like an asshole." He wraps his arm around me "I'd love to take you out, we've just scared away every possible babysitter."

"I know."  I laugh "I can't believe they're that bad that your mom doesn't even wanna watch them for a night anymore.  We should've never let them there that night after they ate all the candy."

"It would've happened soon anyway.  They probably would have broken their TV or something.  My dad still likes the little two."

"Yeah, only because they haven't destroyed everything yet.  Sherry and my dad don't complain too much.  They listen to them for some reason." I stop talking to listen to the baby monitor.  Liv is yelling for Brad and I, probably knowing that we are both home by now.

"I'll get her."  Brad stands up "I'll make sure the other 2 are still alive."

I look at the time as he leaves to see that it's 7.  Liam is still running around with his friends and I need to make dinner. 

"Hey, babe can you see if Liam is at the door?" I yell from the kitchen "Someone is knocking."

"I think he knows how to open it."  He mocks me walking towards the door "It's Mrs. Hatchet.  She hates me!  You have to answer."

"I can hear you, Brad!" She yells through the door "Open it!"

"Sorry Mrs. Hatchet, I was hoping you wouldn't hear."

"I'm old, not death."  She pushes him away "Where's your wife?  She needs to keep your little mutants out of my yard."

"I'm right here, Mrs. Hatchet."  I walk into the room trying not to laugh "What happened?  Liam was out with his friends and the other 3 were in here."

"Come with me, I'll show you what happened."  She pulls me out the door.  I follow her out towards her yard to see all the boys cleaning off her house.

"What the hell is this?  Why is my son cleaning your house?"

"He's cleaning my house because you and your husband reproduce like flies and have too many children to control!" She yells angerly "If you were watching him then he wouldn't have been in my yard."

"William!  You know Mrs. Hatchet hates us, why did you have to walk in her yard?" I ask "Now we have to deal with her glowing angry cat eyes."

"I hope you know I only developed those after he was born!" She cuts in before he can answer "You guys are the reason they exist."

"Can someone just tell me what the hell is going on here?"  I ignore her "Why am I the only mother getting yelled at?  Are the others locked in your house somewhere?"

"We tried that diet coke and mento thing."  Liam finally answers me "And, well, it accidently flew all the way over the fence and into her yard."

"That's a 6 foot high fence!"  Mrs. Hatchet complains "You brought it into my yard on purpose!"

"Well maybe you shouldn't leave your gate unlocked..." One kid says.  I try not to laugh at him and turn back towards Liam.

"You should really watch your kids more!" She glares over at me "I could sue you guys for ruining my property."

"Ruining your property?"  Brad walks over laughing "This is nothing compared to all the hideous footsteps and finger prints you have all over our house.  It takes a lot to get your crazy evilness off of our stuff.  Not all of us like to be Satan."

"Okay, you can leave."  I turn him around pushing him out of the yard "Thanks for the help."

I walk back in to see that she now has the boys weeding her yard as well as cleaning the siding.  She looks over at me with her evil devil cat eyes and I don't say anything.

"What are your other kids doing?"  She asks "Should I be worried a zoo is going to take over my house soon?"

"They're all locked up in their cages." I answer smartly "Unfortunately they don't have claws like you to claw themselves out."

"Funny."  She turns away from me "Just get this one out of my yard." 

I happily walk Liam out of her yard and walk him into our house.  He sits at the table waiting to be yelled at.

"A Coke explosion?  Really?"

"We thought it would be fun."

"Just keep it in our yard next time."  I point towards the steps "Go upstairs and stay out of trouble."