Our Life Together

Oh Shit

"Jack, come on.  You need to get out."  I plead with him, trying to get his door open.

"Open this door now, or you don't get to pick out any candy!"  He finally unlocks the door and jumps out of his car seat with no help.  I have him stand next to me while I get Liv and Scar out.

"Mommy I stuck!"  Liv complains as she tries to jump out of her seat like Jack did "Get me out!"

"Hold on, honey."  I hand Scar my keys to play with, "You need to stand right next to Jack, okay?"

She jumps out and I walk around to Scar.  They follow me close behind and stand right next to the car.

"Hi, baby."  I smile at her as I start to get her out, "You're so happy today."  I sigh of relief knowing she won't be crying the whole time.

She looks up at me laughing as she continues to play with my keys.  I pull her closer so I can get her out, and hear them drop.

I step out of the car with her, shutting my door, and looking around for the keys.

"Do either of you see mommy's keys?"  I ask Liv and Jack who are no help at all. 

"Scar played with them." Jack says "She dropped them."

"I know, but I can't find them now.  Can you help?" 

They glance around for a little and when we don't see them, I get an unsettling feeling. 

I pull on the door handle when I see them in the car, but it won't budge.

"Shit!"

"That's a bad word, mommy."  Jack reminds me of my mistake.

"I know, I just got a little mad."

"Are we locked out?"  He asks "My game is in there."

"For now we are, I'll have to call daddy to come get us."  I grab my phone from my purse to call Brad, but he doesn't answer.  The kids play with some rocks they found on the ground, completely ignoring me.

"Okay, plan B.  Let's go shopping and wait for him to call back."

I pull them away from their new toys as we walk into the crowded store.  They jump into the cart and I put Scar in the top so my arms are free.

"I want fishies." Liv points to some crackers "The pink!"  I throw them into the cart next to her and move on to the next aisle for Jack to pick out his cookies.

"Okay, pick what you want."  I put the cart close enough that he can see everything as I pick out some other things.

"Chocolate chip."  He finally decides, pointing to the specific box he wants. 

I turn to go into the next aisle, and Brad finally calls me back.

"Hey, what's up?  You sounded freaked out in that message."

"I need you to come to the store... Scar locked us out of my car."

"How did a baby lock you out of your car?  I told you not to let her drive anymore.  Child services is going to kill us."

"Shut up, Brad!  She had my keys and must have hit lock.  I stopped letting her drive when she drove us into the pole."

"How in the hell did she lock the doors without you knowing?"

"That doesn't matter, just come and unlock my car so I can get the keys."

"Okay fine, I'll be there in 20 minutes."

I hang up and continue to shop.  The kids yell out to me that they want every possible thing we pass.  They almost fall out of the cart as I walk through the ice cream aisle because they're trying to open the doors and get everything that they know they can't have.

"Guys, if you open one more door I'm putting everything you picked out so far back.  No means no."

"Wow you're mean,"  Brad walks u0 behind me, throwing ice cream into the cart "My poor kids are going to die of ice cream deprivation.  That's terrible."

"I know, what will their eulogy say?"  I keep walking until I realize that we have everything we need "Well, I guess we're done."

"Time for me to save your ass."  Brad laughs, getting the kids to take out to the car a while.  I stay where I am, waiting in line and watching them.

"They're adorable."  The checkout lady notices who I'm looking at "How old?"

"8 months, 4 and 7.  They're a handful."

"I bet, but those such fun ages."

I pay after she's done with everything and walk out to see that he now has them all in the car.  He's standing with the door open, playing games with them while they all wait for me.

"You probably want these."  He hands me my keys as I finish unloading the groceries "They might help you get home."

"Thanks."  I shut the trunk and lean on the car facing him, "I can't believe I didn't think to look on the floor of the car before I shut the door.  I guess that's the last time I let her play with the keys."

"Yeah, that's probably best."  He laughs "It happens to all of us.  Remember when you were pregnant with Jack and Gabe locked him and Liam in my car?  You were standing next to it sobbing until you realized that you had an extra key."

"How could I forget?  You thought it was the funniest thing ever.  You really didn't understand that I couldn't control my hormones."

"Actually, I thought you were just going crazy, but the way you put it makes me sound better."  He pulls me closer, leaning in for a kiss, "I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else as crazy as you are."

"And I wouldn't want to be married to any other asshole."

He goes back to his car after a while and I get in mine.  The kids talk to each other the whole way home about things that I'll never understand, while I still try to wrap my mind around the fact that I let my 6 month old lock me out of my car.