last night. taegguk

taehyung's letter

Dear Jeongguk,
If you're reading this, I'm probably dead
I know that right now you might hate me
I understand you, I would hate me, too
However, here's a thing I want you to do
Hate me
But not my love
I did something awful and there's no possible way for you to forgive me
But you can't stay mad at the dead forever, eh? You probably feel guilty, too
Maybe this letter will help you understand my actions better
Or I hope so
Ah, even if I tell you why I jumped off the roof, you wouldn't get it
Because you're just a human
And you're made to believe what I did was wrong
Typically, yes, it is
You're not supposed to end life, life is supposed to end you
I'm messing up the natural cycle of things
That's why suicide is considered wrong, I guess
But that's a different topic
Jeongguk, what I wanted to tell you is that I love you
I know I told you I didn't, but it was a lie
I could tell you I said it, because I wanted to protect you from the crushing sadness, that would attack you, after I die and play it the good guy
Or I could be honest and tell you I did all of this just so I can leave a never ending trace somewhere in this world
Because love is forever
And because it's like that, I doubt you fully hate me
I mean, yes, you probably do a bit
But you still love me
I know it
Or at least I believe it
Hope it's true or else my hurtful words would've been meaningless
The point of this letter is to ask you for something
Keep on living without me
Keep on loving without me
Keep on dreaming without me
Keep on being without me
But not for even a second forget my love
Just like I won't forget yours, even after death did us apart
Okay?