Heliophilia (camren)

Chapter 24

Chapter 24:
I hear the incessant buzzing before I even fully wake up and I know that our time together has come to an end. I open my eyes and quickly scurry to find my phone to switch off the alarm and let out a sigh knowing I've only got 3 hours sleep. My eyes are fully alert as they scan the bed, my eyes trailing up the soft skin of a leg peaking out from under the blanket, an arm laid out that I was previously positioned under, a long neck and strong jawline all looking as delicate as ever as the sunlight hit off the skin. I can't help but wonder am I the only person who's seem her like this? Am I the only person she's ever loved or will loved? Has she ever held someone's hand delicately just like she held mine?
But as she rolls over and lets out a little mumble of something incoherent in her sleep and hugs the duvet tighter in her arms I find myself not caring. I don't really mind if people have seen her like this, because I knew no one really took the time to notice her. Frankly I'd sit here all day and spin her body like a globe, and drag my fingers over her body until it stops and explore the undiscovered place I just found. And I'd love the open her up and watch the butterflies flutter out of her stomach and see the drum thumb away in her chest and the clogs turn in her mind because I know no one has ever really took the time do just that, and she promised me adventures and views and unless excitement if I went with her, but sitting her and exploring would do enough for me to last a lifetime.
I find myself too encased by her to leave, so I pad back over to the bed and sit at the end Indian style and watch her sleep. I knew there was happy bits of her like the side I saw last night, when her eyes light up as she talks about her book and such I want to bottle that and give it to her when she needs to be reminded how lovely she really is. And I know there are sad bits of her I've yet to discover, scars marking the walls of her insides and possibly her heart too, but as I watch her chest slowly rise and fall and see her lips move as she silently talks in her sleep I know once I find them ill take care of them. Ill take them and hang them on the fridge to show her I'm proud of her and I love those pieces too. Ill bury them in the garden so no one she doesn't want seeing them will ever know they existed. Ill throw them off the top of a mountain and hope she doesn't miss them too much as I try to repair her.
Right now I'm watching her, blatantly watching her as she sleeps and I used to think only people in films and books did this kind of thing, but I also thought a love as powerful as the one I have for her was only just on movie screens. But I guess I was wrong as I kept my eyes trained on her, making sure I don't miss a single rise of her chest or small mumble or little movement.
I really don't want to leave her, I think to myself. I still was completely paradoxical towards my thoughts as my mind makes a different decision for the millionth time tonight. Ill go to work, ill talk to Grace and ill come home to this girl, this beautiful girl laying in bed. And I hope she's still here, still asleep so I can continue what I'm doing for the rest of the night, and into the morning and maybe all weekend if she'll let me, because I've waisted far too much time trying to look away from her when I missed out on what I've always wanted.
I needed to leave soon, I knew I was going to be late. So I crawled up the bed and leaned down over her, our faces inches apart as I counted all 19 of her freckles and then I brought my lips down to hers and planted a feather light kiss there, no movement of drive, just a reminder to her sleeping form I was coming home to her tonight, I was going to pick up where I left off; she'll be mine and ill be hers.
I dressed quickly and knew I wouldn't have time for anything else as I took once last look at her and opened the door before I hear a husky voice crack through the silence.
"Ill miss you"
I bite my lip and hold my tongue knowing I can't turn back because ill run back into her arms and ill never get to work, so I reply with something ill never get tired of saying.
"I love you" I say before I start to walk away.
"I love you more" she said softly and a smile burst onto my face as I made my way out the door and onto the corridor.

"Can we talk?" I ask Grace as we're getting off for our lunch break. She looks at me with slightly panicked eyes and I shudder. I lead her into the back room and close the door behind us but before I can speak her lips are on mine, kissing me with passion as her hands melt into my hair.
"Grace" I say pushing her off me.
"Do you not want me anymore?" She asks and I sigh.
"I think, maybe this is happening too fast" I say softly and her body language gets defensive.
"You want to have one of those talks eh?" She asks and I drop my gaze to the floor.
"Let me take you out to dinner, we can talk there and not in a back room of a cafe" she says with a cute smile. I can't help but nod and kiss her cheek softly.
"Thank you" I whisper and she smiles.
"I can't wait"
I'd have enough time to go out with her, and then get home to Lauren. Of course ill need to break up with Grace, but the prospect of coming home to my girl dressed in sweatpants and her smile makes me forget about how horrible that task will be.
The day dragged in a lot slower than I originally hoped, most people were rude and when I looked around needing help serving please Grace was either on the phone or nowhere in site, and by the time I hung up my apron at 7pm I was ready to crawl home to Lauren and fall asleep but I had to keep going.
"One last step" I thought to myself happily as I bounced to the front of the cafe to find Grace typing on her phone.
"Ready?" I ask and she looks up at me and smile.
"Sí" she says and takes my hand, leading me to her car and opening the door for me as I slide in. She gets in herself and starts the engine as I twiddle with the radio.
Half an hour later she's still driving as we're on the outskirts of town and I start to get nervous about getting home to Lauren in time.
"Where are we going?" I ask but she doesn't reply, instead she pushes the car to go faster as we come to an open road that empty.
"Grace slow down" I say as she hits 100 miles an hour, 120, 140...
My heart beats racing as she keeps going, a fire in her eyes I've never see as she continues to ignore me.
"Grace!" I yell and I can see her knuckles going white as she grips the steering wheel before she abruptly spins it, swerving us off into the side of the street.
"What is wrong with you?!" I scream at her and I see her jaw clench.
"Im stick and tired of you whining!" She screams back and I flinch, never seeing this side of her before.
She starts to search through her door compartment for something can I draw in a breathe to ask her what she's doing but she snaps something in Italian at me and I roll my eyes. She pulls out a bottle and a cloth and my eyebrows knit together in confusion as she obviously holds her breathe and dabs some of the liquid from the bottle onto the cloth.
"Grace" I warn but she's got a look in her eyes I've never seen before.
"I should have done this a long time ago" she says as she moves the cloth nearer to my face.
"Grace stop it" I beg desperately as she struggles against me to hold the cloth up to my face, but with every breath I take I feel weaker and weaker, until I find myself not able to fight back. She closes the material over my mouth and nose and I reluctantly breathe in the chemicals making me weak.
"Good girl chica" she coos evilly from beside me but I can't even move my head to look at her.
"Night night" she says finally before I slip into a darkness that was unknown to me.