Chapter 4

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Madness was something I had never experienced before. It had always been there, tickling on the edges of Maggie's memories, letting me know that her mind had been affected by what she went through but I had never felt it as acutely as I had last night.

I had felt like I was drowning, as if my world was this chaotic ocean of pain, emotions, and at the center of it all, standing above me were two being that clashed and fought, screaming and tearing at each other. It was pure pandemonium. There was no safe place to hide from it. It was there, tearing apart my mind and fragmenting my sanity. It had shattered me.

It was bad enough that I had to dream it, the reality was that Maggie had to live it. She had to live with the turmoil inside of her head, day in and day out until the day where she died, cold and in pain. All I could feel were muted thunks in my brain. As if I had been hitting my head against stone again and again. It made my already sore head, ache worse.

"You listening, boss?" Linnette's voice grated at my skull and I looked up from where I had buried my face in my hands. I would have felt embarrassed that I hadn't been listening but my sore head left no room for that.

"Not even the slightest." I shook my head and winced as I let my arms fall back to the desk. She was talking about the hunt. I had gathered that much before my brain had decided shut down everything and just let me wallow in the aching pain.

She gave a small scoff from her chair. "I can tell. You look like you have the hangover from hell." I gave her a half-hearted glare. She was right, I looked like shit. Like half baked shit left to freeze before being reheated and served on a wet paper plate.

"Feel like it." I closed my eyes, the brightness of the room was not helping me and I swirled around in my chair, grabbing the heavy curtains and yanking them closed. I let out a small sigh of relief for the sudden dimness as I slowly turned my chair back around.

"I would ask if you had another rough night but I can answer that just by looking at you." She waved her hand at me as she looked at her nails. Her shoulder slumped slightly and I could see her gritting her teeth. "Why don't you have...the bloodsucker stay for a few days." The words took a lot for her to say. I could see it and I knew it. I blinked at her in surprise and she glowered at me darkly. "When he spends the night with you, you don't look so bad in the morning." She sniffed and looked away from me and I felt a small smile tug up my lips. Ever so worried she was. I liked it though. She was willing to put her own agitation and anger on hold so I could feel better. I couldn't have asked for a better Beta.

"That is why you are my second in command. Thinking of others first." I gave her a small smile before I leaned back in my chair with a groan. "How is my Master-at-Arms in training doing?" Linnette's brother was a fucking asshole and a pig. He was and I didn't much care for him but he was a damn good warrior and I needed someone to take over when Linnette's father retired, which was coming soon. I figured Emerson would be a good replacement. He just needed his attitude adjusted... repeatedly... by me or Linnette. I was trying to see if I could prove that you could actually beat the sexism out of someone.

"Emerson is doing okay. He doesn't seem too happy about the females in the sessions." She gave a small shrug and flicked at her nails as if cleaning invisible dirt from them. I wrinkled my nose. Her father had been hesitant too but after he had seen Linnette dominate the challengers for the Beta position he had been proud to offer the pack females training because if his daughter could do it, so could they.

"If he has a problem he can take it up with me." I would beat the snot out of him if I heard so much of a peep from his loud mouth. I knew he wouldn't come to me for that exact reason.

"I already took it up with him. Broke eight of his ribs and fractured his jaw." She gave me a wide, toothy grin at the news and I winked at her, pride filling me.

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