Through it all

Guilt and love

She sat on the sofa in her office, her hair tied back in a bun, her shoes kicked off long ago. Her head hurt, she had so many thoughts spinning around and they all kept leading back to him. The thought of his skin against hers, his lips against her own, his arms that held her so closely throughout the night.

"A penny for them," a deep voice uttered,

She looked up and she couldn't help the tears that rolled down her cheeks,

"Hey... Hey..." He soothed, taking off his jacket and pulling her into his strong arms. She sobbed against his chest and he held her, his hands running through her dark hair gently.

"She's carrying twins and she works too hard... But Somethings upset her, take her back to yours," Charlie told him an hour later as he watched how Connie slept peacefully on his chest.

"I love her Charlie," he admitted quietly, "yet sometimes even I don't know what she's thinking,"

Charlie smiled, "you're the only person she will open up too... You don't have to guess what she's thinking, she will always tell you when she's ready."

"Come on sweet cheeks," he smiled, waking her from where she sat in the passenger seat.

"You bought pizza?" She grinned and he nodded,

"Anything to see that smile," he told her and as she got out of the car she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. He held her firmly, when she looked up and kissed him, he pressed her up against the car and kissed her with all the love he had, "no more tears baby," he told her, "let's get into our pyjamas and drink tea and eat pizza."

He rested his arm around her shoulders as she sipped her tea before lifting her legs and curling into him.

"I want to spend every evening like this," she told him as he tucked her hair behind her ears,

"What's upsetting you baby?" He asked and she leaned forward, resting her head in her hands.

"I saw Michael today... He was shocked to see I was pregnant... He asked me why we never had children after my miscarriage and I felt like a horrible person," she admitted, "he was angry again... The stem cell treatment didn't work and he's angry, I can't even repeat what was coming out of his mouth, but he said you'd leave me... That you wouldn't stick around as I'm awful... And I feel awful Jacob, I vowed that in sickness and in health I would love and look after him... But after his spinal cord injury, he's so horrible."

He ran his hand through her hair, "you're not awful," he told her gently, "you're kind and brave and beautiful."

He kissed her hand, "I won't leave you... Not one part of me ever wants to leave you... I want this... What we have, forever,"

"Forever is a long smile" she smiled as the back of his hands brushed her cheeks,

"I'd happily love and give you forever,"

She stood up and took his hand, "take me to bed Jacob... Make me forget all of this."

He took her hand in his own and squeezed it, "come on princess."

She stood looking out upon her garden as the sun rose slowly behind the trees.

"I love you Connie," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist, "I didn't know what love was before you... And you've ruined everyone else for me now... So you better be aware of how I love you."

"Do you want to know?" She asked and she could tell by his face that he was desperate to find out the sex of their babies,

"I can wait, if you want a surprise," he offered and she pulled his towards her and kissed him,

"Let's find out," she smiled and he squeezed her gently,

"I was hoping you'd say that,"

"I want you to be happy too," she told him as the student midwife went to find her qualified colleague, "you always check that I'm happy, and that it's what I want... But your opinion is important too,"

"This sounds ridiculous, but if you're happy then so am I," he smiled,

He kissed her forehead as she winced as the gel spread across her stomach,

"You're having two girls," the young girl told them and Connie and Jacob smiled,

"I still can't believe we're having two," he smiled, "three girls to love and protect, what did I do to become so lucky."