Raising Haze

Chapter Twenty-Three

(Heather's POV)

It's been four days since Hazelyne decided that she wanted to stay with Zane for awhile. It hurt's, but I can understand. Sky wanted me to tell her when she was old enough to understand. Not wait until she was a teenager. I messed up.

So, now here I am. All alone in the home Skylar and I bought together. The home we were in when Haze was born. The home where everything the last fourteen years happened. Maybe not quite fourteen, but close enough. I still look at the spot on the floor where she did it. Only thing is I had the carpet replaced. 

I still sleep on her side of the bed.

I still cuddle with her favorite blanket and stuffed animal. 

I raised our  daughter. The one thing I thought no one could take from me. The one thing I truly had left from Sky. The one person that means more to me than anyone ever could. And she's gone because of my own stupidity. 

I hope she just needs space and thinks about things. I know she loves Zane and she's happy to have at least one biological parent in her life. But she's my little girl. I was there when she was born. I've been the one raising Haze. I just hope we can all come up with something that makes everyone, especially her, happy. 

What have I been doing though? Nothing. Just laying in bed, clutching a picture of Skylar I printed off to my chest, thinking about everything. 

I lifted up the picture to look at it. It was my favorite one of her, before she got pregnant. She was wearing a Nirvana shirt, and skinny jeans; the usual thing. It was taken outside though, and just the way the sun hits her is amazing. Her hair is blowing a little with the wind, both her eyes in view, which was rare since she always had her bangs covering at least one of them. She was smiling a genuine smile, and it's gorgeous. She always was, but when she had moments like she did in this picture, moments of true happiness, not even the darkest night could dull her shine. 

She was so perfect. 

I miss her so much. I broke down crying. I couldn't help it anymore. I missed her so much. I missed Haze living here. I miss our mother-daughter talks. I missed Sky brushing my hair behind my ear and telling me she loved me. I missed holding her. 

I missed everything. 

"I'm so sorry, Skylar." I said out loud, into thin air. I know there's no point in saying it, but I truly was sorry. I should have followed her wishes and told Haze before hand. She has every right to be mad at me. I lied to her, her entire life. 

I did the wrong things, for the right reasons. 

                                                    ----------------------------------------------

About half hour later after my little break down, Ryan showed up. 

I was still in bed. 

"Heather?" he called.

"Up here." I yelled back. He walked into my room, and looked at me with so much sadness in his eyes.

"She'll come around." he stated. 

"I can only hope. I don't blame her for being mad."

"I don't either, at all. Should of told her. However, you can't change the past. Plus, you were a teenager once. You know how it is. She just needs some space to think things through." He sat next to me on the bad, and rubbed my shoulder, trying to comfort me. 

"I appreciate the effort, bro, but when we were teenagers, I didn't have to deal with anything close to this. Our parents were happily married, we had money, everything we needed, our parents were accepting and didn't keep things from us. All I ever had to worry about was you beating the shit out of me when they were on a business trip." I snapped. 

"Really? Dude, I explained that. I still feel like shit about it to this day. I'm sorry I did that to you. But you know what? This isn't about me. This isn't about our parents, or how we grew up, or anything. Maybe instead of snapping at me and bringing shit up that we already solved, get your ass up, stop wallowing in your own fucking despair, and talk to your daughter. Not even making an effort to call her probably isn't helping the situation at all. Grow the fuck up, Heather and solve the problem instead of overthinking it." He stormed out of my room, and out of the house. 

I was in shock, honestly. However, he was right. I needed to grow up, face the music, and talk to her to work things out.

Time to get my daughter back, and rebuild our relationship, and work everything out. 

I got this.