Changing Relations ✔

Chapter 16

"Hanya" he said softly.

"Jij (brother in law)" I said.

"Please try to control yourself" he said.

"How can I?? When wherever I go here, I find her?? How can I control myself when I've You and Adeel with me!!" I said loudly.

"This is not easy for me also, Hanya. I lost my wife. Adeel lost his mother..." he said loudly.

"And, I lost my sister, my own sister." I shouted. "You let her drive that evening." I pointed at him.

"You accusing me???" He asked shocked.

"Yes, I am... you very well know what happened that evening!!!" I shouted.

"I'm very much aware of that evening, Hanya." He said glaring.

"You loved her alot na??? Then why didn't you saved her??" I yelled.

"God knows best Hanya, what I did and How much I tried to save her" he said clenching his fists. "This is difficult for me also"

"Not like me...it hurts alot, to see the one whom you were destined with is already in love with another and on top of that you are not that person whom I wanted to spend my life with!!" I shouted.

"Then listen to me also, I never ever in millions of years also thought that I'll have to marry you" he said

"You don't know how much strength it took, just to say yes!!" I said with tears flowing down.

"Hanya, I know that and I respect you, your decisions. And I'll always be greatfull to that" he said coming forward.

"Will this ease my pain?? Tell me..." I asked and he kept quiet. "Everything changed..."

"Yes, everything did change"

"It's not easy to accept the change"

"I'll never be able to move on" he blurted and I looked at him. "Hanya...I meant-"

"I know that...I know very well in what I've gotten myself into"

"Hanya-"

"You'll always be Hareem's husband and Adeel's dad!!" I said with very much hatred.

"And you'll always be my second wife and Adeel's scecond mother" he said with equal hate.

"I can never love you..."

"We can never have that relation" he said. With that, we both went to our separate way.

Brick by brick, my walls came tumbling down. As I ran from him, with the tears in my eyes. I slammed into the bathroom door. I didn't care if anyone saw. I just broke down. The sobs punched through, ripping through my muscles, bones, and guts. I pressed my forehead against the grimy stall door and began to let my heart yank in and out of my chest. Over and over. In and out.

"Why Allah?? Why me?? Why I have to take her position?? I know Allah, this was solely my decision to marry him, nobody forced me....but it hurts Allah. It hurts alot. We both can never be together. Never. He'll always be my jij and I'll always be his small sister!! How can someone love this much and why that someone has to come in my life only" I kept on shouting and hitting my head on the door.

"Madam...please, please come out" it was Samya's voice.

"Leave me alone" I shouted.

"Hanya..." his voice

"Out of my room, now" I shouted again.

"I'm not going anywhere unless you come out" he shouted.

"I will, when I want to"

"No, come out now. We can talk" he said.

"What do you want to talk?? Say??" I said as I opened the door.

"Hanya..I..We.."

"We what?? Do you also feel the pain like I do whenever I see you looking at me like a small sister?? Do you also feel the pain when everytime your mind and soul make you realize that you'll always be second?? Do you feel the pain when you know you can never be that one?? Do you?? Do you feel the pain when you already know that your other half is already in love, but that person is not you!!!

I know we can never have that relation ever, but you can never imagine what I'm going through. To lose your sister, and to take over her family, her husband, her child is a very big thing!! No girl wants to share her husband or her family, but I've already shared you!!" I kept on blabbering while poking and pointing his chest as he kept his firm grip on my back so that I don't fell down.

I walked away from his grip, ignoring his calls. As much as I tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping.

I hit the wall and tried to scream, but my voice was melted by the sound of the place. The muffled sobs wracked against my chest. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. Everything was gone.

The last painful emotion of  her scream

"Zzzaaaiiiiinnnnnn"

slammed against me before I lost the feeling of feeling. Everything darkened into nothingness as I passed into the oblivion of unconsciousness.