Chap 20

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The alarm rang approximately about 6:30 am in the morning.

'It's your phone.' Yoongi mumbled.

'No, it's yours.' The lass mumbled back. The alarm kept ringing non-stop and it got on Yoongi's nerves before he shot up awake with an annoyed look.

He trudged himself slowly to the dressing table before turning the alarm off.

'Get up, it's Disneyland day.' He mumbled. His hair was a mess and his voice was husky. His morning voice sounded heavenly and could make anyone just, you know, probably, die.

'5 more minutes. Wake me up when you're done.' She mumbled back. Yoongi chuckled softly. He picked out a plain white tee to pair up with his favorite ripped jeans.

He got into the bathroom before stripped himself, getting into the shower. A nice warm relaxing bath in the morning, just the best way to get the day started.

After he was done, he stared at himself in the mirror.

'You're so ugly.' he said to himself.

'No wonder she didn't bother to visit you.'

'You don't deserve love.' The devil in him said.

His dark eye bags were darker than before. He grew skinnier and skinnier. He was losing hair. He looked like a mess.

He was upset of course. He missed his fiancee, or more like deceased fiancee, but he doesn't know that.

He was impatient. Why won't the members tell him anything?

His attention drifted to the blade in his travelling pouch.

'No! I can't do this! I must quit!' His conscience screamed out.

'I must control myself.' His conscience continued.

'Min Yoongi, quit it.' it screamed out again.

'You're strong enough to fight yourself.'

He screamed out frustratingly before dropping onto the floor. His mind was blank, his head hurt.

A knock sound on the door.

'Are you alright in there?' A soft voice called out from the other side.

'Yeah, I am.' He croaked out. 'I'll be out in a minute.' He said. Faint footsteps could be heard fading away. As soon as he was sure that she couldn't hear him. He swiftly took the blade before placing it near his wrist.

One cut, two cut, three.

He sighed out. He felt way much better. He knew it was wrong but it couldn't be helped. He knew if the members found out, he'd probably be tied up and never get to do anything alone.

Once he was done, he washed his blood away and gently pressed onto his new wounds. Tears clouded his vision. Why was life so hard?

He unlocked the door and walked out as if nothing happened.

'You alright there?' The lass asked. She was on her phone, texting the members about what happened. She knew something was up, she just didn't want to force him to speak if he doesn't want to. He'll open up eventually.

'Yeah, I'm alright.' He replied before dropping himself on the bed.

'Hmm, let's see. I'll give you 20 minutes to get ready.' He said, looking at his imaginary watch.

'Don't talk crap. You're not even wearing one!' She protested.

'That's because you don't have supervision like I do!' He stuck his tongue out. Amazing how he could just act like nothing happened in the bathroom few minutes ago.

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