Found You(BWWM)

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Plz vote before u read so I won't forget and comment while u read(next chapter is the last)

Joel's pov

"Colin,I can't."I shook my head.

He sighed."Okay,Chase is the guy that had to leave our school because he was bullied to the point he was transferred,that's where we're at?"

I nodded.

"Okay,is that where the guilt comes from?"

"I didn't mean to Colin.I was so selfish.I didn't care if he left or not.I thought he deserved it but he didn't.I should of tried harder to tell everyone...I should of never made it get to that point.And he sends me emails,telling me how he's at his new school and his new friends..."I trailed off.

"Does he still email you?Do you respond?"Colin asked.

"Sometimes.And also sometimes.Certain things he says makes me feel so awful that I don't know what to email back."

"Like what?"he asked.

"How he has a girlfriend because of me.It doesn't sound so bad but...I don't know.Im glad he's happy-"

"See he's happy! Everything happens for a reason Jay.Don't feel guilty about something that was out of your control."

"Do you think it was your fault?"I asked,hoping he knew what I was referring to.

"I used to.But I learned sure in someway it could of been prevented,everything can but it doesn't matter because  that situation is gonna come back around.Things are bound to happen to make you stronger no matter how hard you try to avoid it."He caressed my cheek.

I hugged him.

"I do love you.So so much.Im sorry.Im so sorry."I whispered,gripping him as tight as I could.

"It's cool."He chuckled."I wasn't being fair to your pussy either."

I laughed."I thought you were sweeter than that".

"I could be.It just depends."Colin gave a cute innocent smile.

"You deceive me with those looks."

He kissed my cheek,resting my head in his chest.

"We'll get through this."He whispered.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

.

.

.

Colin eyed me carefully as I jotted down notes from his physics notebook.

"What's goody bro?"I asked,silently laughing to myself.

"Joel,I think there is something wrong with me."He looked so panicked.

"What?Whats going on?"I asked,putting my pen down.

"I-I I'm so fucked.I went to my therapist last night for a mental exam.And he asked me about my...sexual activities.And so I told him.And he asked what I was into and what I liked.And guess what?Im a sadist."He blew out a breath of air.

"You're playing.That doesn't make sense.Okay let's test it out."I reached for his hand and wrapped it around my neck.

"Hold me tight.How do you feel about this?"I questioned,as Colin's breathing quickened.

"I feel fine."He shrugged,chuckling nervously.

"You sure?"

He didn't answer,just stared at his hand around my neck.

"Colin-"

"You do like it right?And I'm not entirely insane?"Colin blurted.

"I do."I admitted.

His grip tightened,then loosened.

He rested his hand back in his lap and played with his fingers.

"Well I guess-"

Colin groaned,tackling me on the couch.

"Um hi."I laughed.

"Hi."He blushed,as his grip on my wrists loosened.

"You okay,buddy?"I asked.

"I-I don't know."He stuttered,licking his lips.

"Uh huh"I said slowly.

"I just...I been so rough with you lately and I'm so sorry.And I know you say you enjoy it but I'm scared.I don't wanna be like this.I wanna be gentle and...normal."His words rang through my ears.

"Normal?No one is 'normal'"I said,leaning forward to kiss him.

"Don't turn me on please.I don't wanna hurt you."

I gave him a bitch really look.

His face was extremely red.

"Colin chill.You are fine.Stop worrying."

"What if I'm angry?What if I like you in pain because I never got to protect myself back then."Colin drifted off into thought.

I laughed.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?"Colin yelled,quickly covering his mouth.

I laughed again."Damn daddy."

"Just be quiet."He whispered,his voice wavering.

"Or what?"I smirked,bringing my face close to his.

"Jay please."His lip trembled.

"Why are you trying so hard to fight it?"

"Because I don't want to be like this."

"Trust me,I get it.Sometimes change isn't always the best option."I shrugged.

"But,I could actually hurt you.Aren't you scared?"He asked.

"Ha,you would of thought."

He closed his eyes and breathed in and out.

"God,I need some space.Ill be right back."He lifted himself off me but I pulled him back down and showered him with kisses.

I'm curious as to what's gonna happen.

I felt him groan inside of my mouth.

I bit and sucked on his bottom lip.

"Shit"Colin whimpered,as I slipped my hands down his pants.

"Jay,don't do this."He whispered.

"You know you want me to."I pushed him and straddled him.

"No,I d-didn't.I said stop!"He screamed,shoving me and running off.

'Well',I thought as I laid on the cold ground.

Don't pay this chapter or my last chapter dirt,thanks.The next one is gonna be like 6k+ words so throw some respect on that name

Xoxo Nia