A Muslim's Romantic Journey

Chapter 4.

Safia's POV

My family was big and complicated. It was two families sort of mixed into one. Auntie Asma, uncle Yahya's wife, became very ill about a month after she gave birth to Hafsa. My mum had to take care of Hafsa whilst auntie Asma was rushed to hospital. Hafsa was crying because she was hungry so my mum, who had me about 11 months earlier, fed Hafsa her own breast milk. Islamically, this made Hafsa our sister. Later, after auntie Asma's third daughter, Samiya, the doctor told her that she shouldn't have any more children as it was too much of a risk to her health. Auntie was heartbroken realizing she wouldn't have a son. Not having had a brother herself, she desired for her daughters to have a brother. So then my mother told her to feed Amaan, who was 14 months old, her breast milk so she could Islamically have a son. It all sounds really bizarre, but that's why our families were really close.

That was why Uncle Yahya had found me a potential spouse without having my parents involved. My parents kind of knew what was going on, but like me, they were unsure whether uncle was serious. Nonetheless, my parents trusted him fully. In fact, when Tariq, my brother in law, approached Aisha towards the end of her college days, it was Uncle Yahya's number that Aisha had given Tariq. And it was uncle Yahya who scrutinized Tariq before he concluded he'd be fit for Aisha. I guess my family was dysfunctional, but in a good way.

So here I was, sitting between my mum and dad who both looked very sad, waiting for Abubakar's family to come. I wondered how they felt when uncle Yahya had told them 'Abubakar's family are coming to see your daughter in 4 days.' 

"If you don't want me to go through with this, it's okay." I said, hoping to make them feel better.

"Safia," My dad said turning towards me. "You know if it were up to me, I'd never get you married and keep you here forever. But I have to let you go one day. You know what they say, daughters are like guests, destined to get married and leave home as soon as they become adults so we have to take special care of them." My dad smiled at me sadly, as if I was about to leave so soon. Suddenly I didn't want to get married anymore. Noticing the expression on my face, my dad changed the subject and tried to ease my worried mind. "I've heard a lot of praises about Abubakar from Yahya and I've met him a couple of times myself. I have absolutely no reason to stop his family from coming over today because if I do, I'm being selfish." That was so sweet. Before I could think of a response, my mum began speaking.

"But if I don't like what I see today, I'm not going to let you marry him, okay?" That sounded a little harsh and made me nervous. "Safia, you're really mature and you'll make a great wife in'sha'allah but you're so innocent. You can't tell when someone's putting on an act." That was true; I'd been such a pushover through my teenage years for this reason. It was one of the things that made my mum worry about me.

"I trust you completely." I said to my mum and dad. The thing I loved about the elders in my family was their love of Islam over culture. This meant I didn't have to worry about having secretly been engaged when I was 1 or not being allowed to marry someone who wasn't the same race as us.

"They're leaving; Yaqub just gave me a text." Uncle Yahya told me. Yaqub was Abubakar's dad. I quickly got up and run upstairs where I could hear Amaan and Hafsa arguing with Hamza.

"Safia! Finally. Tell them they have to wait their turn!" Hamza said as he was playing on the Wii.

"But he's been on it for ages!" Hafsa whined.

"It's not my fault I'm just so good."

"Excuse me!" I shouted and they stopped to look up at me. "My possible future in laws are on their way here and I'm this close" I put my index finger and thumb a centimeter away from each other. "to having some sort of panic attack!" Hamza put the Wii down and Hafsa motioned for me to sit on Amaan's bed. Amaan's room was where we all hung out to play the Wii. 

"We're sorry. Calm down. Nothing's final."

"Yeah but Aisha got married like 2 months after Tariq's family came over. If that's what happens to me, I'll be married in 2 months! No more staying up on Wattpad until late at night or messing up when I'm cooking or having someone to clean up after me." Hafsa told Hamza and Amaan to leave the room. As they did, Hafsa pulled my shoulders to make me face her.

"But you'll have what you've been dreaming of." Hafsa wasn't so great at comforting. I wasn't so great at receiving comfort either. I preferred someone distracting me with something funny. Hafsa knew this so she started singing the song from Enchanted, "I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss! And a handsome... Abubakar to come with this!"

"Hafsa! Astaghfirullah!" Hafsa began laughing and it cheered me up too.

"Look, just stay calm. I know it's easier said than done but remember, you have all of us."

"Exactly!" Faiza, Hafsa's sister, said coming into the room. This whole situation with Abubakar was kind of Faiza's doing. Hafsa and I let Faiza be part of our conversation. Hafsa had told me she had seen Abubakar recently and he had a beard. So I foolishly admitted he was handsome and began making comments on how he was so confident in school. Faiza, trying to act older than her age of 17, went and told uncle Yahya about what I had said. We all knew that Abubakar taught weekend classes at the Masjid uncle and dad prayed at. Little did I know that I was going to end up in this situation. I still couldn't quite believe it.

"Do you think he'll like me?" I asked them for the millionth time. Hafsa slapped the back of my head. Looking at my stressed face, Faiza went out of the room. A little while later, she came back with Samiya and Amaan.

"DOG PILE!" She shouted and they all jumped on me. That was so completely random but it definitely stopped me from thinking about Abubakar. I was so distracted from being unable to breathe that when the doorbell rang, I thought it was Aisha. A little while later I heard Hamza's voice.

"They're here." Everyone climbed off me and I sat, frozen. "You look a mess!" I quickly ran to my room with Hafsa following. The abaya and scarf I'd chosen to wear were lying on my bed. I quickly put it on, making sure I look okay.

"No makeup?"

"No, I want him to see me exactly as I am. Besides, this is how I look normally anyway." Hafsa gave me an encouraging smile. Fidgeting with my hijab once more to make sure it was symmetrical, I ran down the stairs.

"Hamza said you have to wait in the dining room till they call you in." Amaan told me. I walked into the dining room and slumped into a chair. The wait seemed to take too long. With every second, the nerves in my stomach got worse. By the end, I was beginning to feel sick. "They're calling you in now." I looked at my hand which was shaking so much that it looked as if it had a life of its own. 

"I'm not ready." I whispered.

"Shall I go tell them that?" Amaan asked.

"No! Don't be silly. You go, she's coming." Hafsa pulled me up. "I don't say this often but Safia, you are beautiful and they will love you! Believe me. I don't lie and I don't do white lies either." I nodded my head with my face down. "Head up, smile, be confident." I attempted to do as she said. She gave me a reassuring smile and I made my way to the door of the room in which Abubakar and his family sat. With a deep breath, I pushed the door open and went inside. I looked at the unfamiliar faces gazing at me smiling. Then I saw that familiar face, Abubakar's. Our eyes locked before I quickly put my head down again.